The diaries end here..! Are you ready for this?
Anne Frank writes.
March 10th , 2005.
Result of pap smear says I have carcinoma in situ, similar to severe dysplasia, true cancer!Cervical cancer?! Now that colposcopy sucks! Tired of taking pain killers after each one. All these fruitless things. Dad doesn't seem to know how to spend his money.
What is happening to me, Lord?
Now I know for real how cruel this life truly is. Just when my business is starting?! Of all these medical conditions, what I don't understand is how I have to be the only one this ill?!
April , 2005.
Just barely 6 months to my 25th birthday! Who is going to marry me with all these complications in my life? Just who?
Mum is not feeling well. Dad is not in town! Dave is expected back soon. Some relief , I guess.
September , 2005.
My birthday in a few days.
Went for another Pap Smear in another hospital, this one said I have cancer in my cervix for real. Is that supposed to be a birthday gift? Is God punishing me for wrongs done in the past?
...
My birthday. In hospital! I don't feel sick yet though. Dad just thinks I need more attention than ever.
October 5th, 2005.
Peter came visiting today. At the hospital though. He came home briefly. No one has said anything to him about my true condition. Dad said I had malaria! I wish!
November, 2005.
I still don't know why they said I have cancer. I feel ok.
Business
David is here! I told him. We cried together for so long. People die when they have cancer! Dont they, Darlyn?
January ,2006.
Peter asked to marry me. What? Is it because he comes around to see me? I dont want any entanglement right now or ever. I have more than enough to contend with already!
March , 2006.Dad thinks I am ripe for marriage. Hmmm. With all these cervical abnormalities? Hardly!
April, 2006.
Peter still on my case. What part of no does he not understand?!
Dubai, London and then back home!
Wow! What a long travel that was. Hi Darlyn!!!
Happy birthday to me. 17/09/2006. 26!
I feel really sick now.
December met me in the hospital! ( literally).
August 2007.
They said I fell into coma all those months! Why didn't they just bury me? Phew!
I went to church today at Peter's invite. I can almost swear that I have seen that pastor before but I am not sure where? Uni., maybe?...
Yeah! I remember him. The fellowship coordinator way back in school! He now pastors, hmmm?
November 2007.
I said yes to Peter's proposal.
David thinks I made a good choice. As for me? I don't love him. What is love anyway? I am not sure and time isn't on my side to find that out.
February 2008.
Formal Introduction to Peter! Mum said I will be fine with him. Dad thinks so too.
As for me, hm mm.
Date fixed for the D - day! I didn't know I was going to marry Peter after all!
The cancer is growing and my menstrual flow gets heavier and more uncomfortable!
Smelly discharges too!
Today, the 25th of July, 2008, I married a man I don't have any feelings for and who is totally unaware of what he is about to go into! Registry...
Darlyn, first sex experience that I consented to. Willingly. ! Hmmm.
Honeymoon was short. Darlyn had shocking news to tell...
He is HIV positive. He told me of his past life and all that he had done. How he even raped a few times. Yeah, I am married to a former cultist!
August 2008.
Good reason to tell him mine , right? I hope he can handle it.
September 2008.
Sex. Sex. Doesn't Peter know about any other thing.
Routine sex... now , I am bored! Hmph!
I am contemplating undergoing a radical hysterectomy in London as advised. Especially if I want to stay around here some more. 50-50 % chance of survival, they said.
Today , I am 28 and somehow , this one is kinda reflective. How has my life been?
November , 2008.
I told Peter everything. I mean ALL! He wept like a baby. Am sad, Darlyn.
His parents are here!!!!
January 2009.
Peter 's mum came to our house and asked me to leave! I thought I was dreaming but I have been back to my father's place since two weeks! Peter isn't doing anything about it. Mum blamed me for telling him.
March 2009.
I signed the divorce papers. H mm. Just any more push, and I will lose my mind completely. I didn't love this man but I feel the loss of one who is not 'useful!'
Face book fever at its peak! I just cant get enough. To think I joined long before now. Worth indulging at these times too. My hysterectomy draws near.
Lord, take me should I die. Let me meet you in paradise. Here has been so tiring.
*David takes over from here *
April 2009
This time I doubt if Anne is going to come back from this one. The operation will hold in a few weeks.
Anne wishes to have this diary published. She is so sick. I hate to bring the news again!
*Anne writes...
Today, I leave the shores of Nigeria for the hysterectomy.Mum and dad are coming too. David can not. I am leaving you with Dave, Darlyn. Should I return, remember I love you and thank you for being there all these years.
*She writes her (perhaps) the first set of diaries in the laptop. Where she constantly 'face books' Permit me to write in caps.*
I WANT ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT ME TO KNOW THAT I FORGIVE THEM AND RELEASE THEM AS I INTEND TO FIND FREEDOM FOR MY SOUL TOO. METHINKS MOST OF WHAT I SUFFER AT THE MOMENT IS MORE PSYCHOLOGICAL THAN ANYTHING ELSE THE DOCTORS THINK! MUM, DAD, AUNT JANE, EVERYONE...! AND YEAH, MYSELF. 10: 30 am, May 14, 2009. Darlyn, I will miss you.
Dave writes...
She returns tomorrow, Darlyn. June , 2009.
Anne writes...
Operation performed. I feel so empty within. July, 2009.I just sleep and do little reading.
My flow is still so heavy.
David writes...
She bleeds severally now. I am losing my sister, Darlyn. July 29, 2009
5th August, 2009. Darlyn will be published by awemoreborelanlay! She agreed to do it! That is Anne wants. She is so pale now , so , so. Losing weight and all...
*She is still bleeding as we speak. The doctors say she may not last the year. Something went wrong with the operation , I guess+ her hubby( former) who is HIV positive! Hmmm.
Now , in case you have been reading or just joining in, I bring to you the DIARIES of one I call , Anne Frank. You have to read from the beginning to appreciate the ills in the world that we live in and ensure that we do our part in reducing them.
...That an adult can be callow and a child can understand adult stuff? Hmmm. An aberration perhaps? Or what damage lies in a child who isn't allowed to grow steady before adult things are exposed to it? Or think about an adult who has lost touch of his childhood just because he has grown! Can anyone learn to write well if he hasn't learnt the alphabets? Foundational issues,hun? ... - excerpts from my one my recent thoughts and as I come to the end of the diaries, this thought are so prominent YET AGAIN!
CHECKMATE, yo' all! You and I are the change we seek! And yes, Jesus is the answer for the world today.
Awemoreborelanlay
Final day ( on Anne Frank's dairies, that it. )
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Anne Frank... (11)
*Being a while , hun? I had to do a lot of other stuff. I apologize.*
She continues...
David has gone for youth service at last! It 's been a while since I came here, you know...
I feel sick today. Maybe it's the long stress of reading and all that. Law school is just a few weeks away. Am nervous. And yeah! Excited!
I still feel sick.
Menstrual cramps. So painful, I just hate it!
I need to feel well, Lord. I am not missing school yet again!
* Anne feel terribly ill the following day and was rushed to the hospital. The doctors carried out series of tests, and like the one she had before now, it appeared mysterious!
David takes over her diary...
Darlyn, I am so sad to be here again. Anne is so ill. I am not in town either as service calls but she wants me to hold you for now. Will she be OK? I hope so, she seems so sick this time and no one seems to know what is wrong.
Today her mates resume law school. She is still at the hospital. I know she isn't a sickly girl but this sickness seems all too mysterious. God, please heal my sister. I am so confused.
Mum brought Anne home today. She isn't getting better in that hospital.
I am so afraid. She cant even write in you, Darlyn. She cant do anything. She just sleeps, lie in bed all day, eat little. Mum said the doctors said she needs to be taken care of through some other means. I am all the more confused.
Anne seems to be better by the day. But she has been sick for nearly five months. Why? Why should life be that cruel to her? Why?
She can walk round the house now. Her back is still so stiff from weeks of lying down. Oh Anne...
She writes again...
Darlyn! I have missed you all these months that I have been sick? I missed law school again! Life is still so cruel to me. Why? Just why?
There really isn't any point staying around here, I guess.
George and all the others have gone on to law school. It is just me! What is wrong with me? Must I be so jinxed?
George didn't even call or come. Hmmm. This life tells so much of being alone. It is just you and you! Well, maybe God.
Results from Uni were cool. But of what use is it if I cant go on to law school? Lord come through for me. I am so confused right now. Why didn't you take me away in that sickness? Why did you bring me through it all? . Hmmm.
My 24th birthday! hmph! Nothing to really look up to! Shouldn't have been here. Ok day though. Got a cake from mum and had a few neighbors come around. I miss David. He had to travel.
Mum is wondering what I am going to do with my life.
I dont want to go youth service. Mum and dad are afraid for me. Afraid that I might die in a strange land. I am sure I will meet God when I go away. Life is so hard , so ,so.
I thought I was loved by George. Now I know where I stand. Can I really and truly be loved?
I agreed with mum and dad. I aint going for youth service. I will go into business. What do I sell? Options a- clothes.
Options b- jeweleries.
Hmmm. I guess I will take jeweleries! I have always loved to wear them myself.
Christmas.
New year.
Guess who came visiting me at home today? Peter! He is done with his finals and waiting for youth service next year. I am glad he came , you know. David didn't come home for Christmas or new year. Maiduguri is very far from here after all!
New year! Lord, what do I do with this one?
Dad got my Dubai runs! I will be traveling in few weeks.
Lord, make everything work.
Darlyn, I didn't take you to Dubai. I am glad I didn't after all, it was quite rough.
Back with a lot to sell.
Lord I thank you for dad and mum. All the money they gave me to start up and all. Wow.
Peter is going for youth service in March. How nice.
I am feeling funny yet again! I pray this is not another sickness brewing!
Feel great today.
Menstrual cramps. Heavy flows lately. Too , too heavy.
* Anne Frank draws to an end ... Thanks for your patience*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 11
She continues...
David has gone for youth service at last! It 's been a while since I came here, you know...
I feel sick today. Maybe it's the long stress of reading and all that. Law school is just a few weeks away. Am nervous. And yeah! Excited!
I still feel sick.
Menstrual cramps. So painful, I just hate it!
I need to feel well, Lord. I am not missing school yet again!
* Anne feel terribly ill the following day and was rushed to the hospital. The doctors carried out series of tests, and like the one she had before now, it appeared mysterious!
David takes over her diary...
Darlyn, I am so sad to be here again. Anne is so ill. I am not in town either as service calls but she wants me to hold you for now. Will she be OK? I hope so, she seems so sick this time and no one seems to know what is wrong.
Today her mates resume law school. She is still at the hospital. I know she isn't a sickly girl but this sickness seems all too mysterious. God, please heal my sister. I am so confused.
Mum brought Anne home today. She isn't getting better in that hospital.
I am so afraid. She cant even write in you, Darlyn. She cant do anything. She just sleeps, lie in bed all day, eat little. Mum said the doctors said she needs to be taken care of through some other means. I am all the more confused.
Anne seems to be better by the day. But she has been sick for nearly five months. Why? Why should life be that cruel to her? Why?
She can walk round the house now. Her back is still so stiff from weeks of lying down. Oh Anne...
She writes again...
Darlyn! I have missed you all these months that I have been sick? I missed law school again! Life is still so cruel to me. Why? Just why?
There really isn't any point staying around here, I guess.
George and all the others have gone on to law school. It is just me! What is wrong with me? Must I be so jinxed?
George didn't even call or come. Hmmm. This life tells so much of being alone. It is just you and you! Well, maybe God.
Results from Uni were cool. But of what use is it if I cant go on to law school? Lord come through for me. I am so confused right now. Why didn't you take me away in that sickness? Why did you bring me through it all? . Hmmm.
My 24th birthday! hmph! Nothing to really look up to! Shouldn't have been here. Ok day though. Got a cake from mum and had a few neighbors come around. I miss David. He had to travel.
Mum is wondering what I am going to do with my life.
I dont want to go youth service. Mum and dad are afraid for me. Afraid that I might die in a strange land. I am sure I will meet God when I go away. Life is so hard , so ,so.
I thought I was loved by George. Now I know where I stand. Can I really and truly be loved?
I agreed with mum and dad. I aint going for youth service. I will go into business. What do I sell? Options a- clothes.
Options b- jeweleries.
Hmmm. I guess I will take jeweleries! I have always loved to wear them myself.
Christmas.
New year.
Guess who came visiting me at home today? Peter! He is done with his finals and waiting for youth service next year. I am glad he came , you know. David didn't come home for Christmas or new year. Maiduguri is very far from here after all!
New year! Lord, what do I do with this one?
Dad got my Dubai runs! I will be traveling in few weeks.
Lord, make everything work.
Darlyn, I didn't take you to Dubai. I am glad I didn't after all, it was quite rough.
Back with a lot to sell.
Lord I thank you for dad and mum. All the money they gave me to start up and all. Wow.
Peter is going for youth service in March. How nice.
I am feeling funny yet again! I pray this is not another sickness brewing!
Feel great today.
Menstrual cramps. Heavy flows lately. Too , too heavy.
* Anne Frank draws to an end ... Thanks for your patience*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 11
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Anne Frank...(10)
Anne continues...
500 level! More work at this level, I tell you ,Darlyn. I have to brace up for the challenge I guess.
George went home briefly today. I miss him like so much! Isn't it crazy the way our minds work as ladies? We say we never would love again and yet? Well, not sure about love though but I like him a lot.
Missing Teresa and Jessica. So much too.
Some serious tests, tutorials, study! Whew! A lot of serious stuff. George got back today.
More tests. More projects this time! No one told me being a lawyer would be this tasking.
Send off for us.
Exams!
I feel so horny today. I didn't pray, I simply masturbated. Oh! How I feel so bad now. Am so sorry, Lord. I really am.
The urge to masturbate is so here again! God! I need you now!
Visited a few friends . I wont be going home this break. Really no need for it. I miss David. He would have helped get some home cooking. How I miss that too.
George didn't go home either. We read and talk a lot these days. He is fun to be with,Darlyn. So much fun to be with. Hmmm.
Darlyn, George has taken your place. I hardly write in you as I used to. Not to worry, I will.
My birthday! 23 already?! Now I am grown all right! George got me a dress. How did he know my size? It really fitted so well. And a bible too. I am glad. 17/09/2003.
Wow!
Darlyn, do I tell George all that I have been through? No, I am not. He won't be my friend anymore I guess. Plus I am not ready for that level of vulnerability! Guys are the same. Secret, secret.
George told me a lot about himself today. I wont say any of mine. At least not now. We are preparing for our finals about now.
Read, read, study, cram ...hm-mm. tutorials, lectures, ....
Exams...
Today, I finished from ********** ! Wow! Five years ago, I walked into this school and now I aint leaving the same.
Waiting for results. I pray it comes out well. George and I have a prayer retreat later today. I need to get what our friendship is all about. I dont want any funny repeat.
Menstrual cramps. What a day! George knew it! He has five sisters! Nothing to be ashamed of then. One open secret, Darlyn, he seems to know when am due for the next one!
Few weeks to be done withe this side of my life. I have loads to pack and give out too.
David missed youth service. He aint happy about it. Me too, Darlyn. He will be here to help me with moving my things back to the house. I love my brother so much. He has always been there for me.
Law school in few months. I feel funny about it though. I dont know why. I pray I dont fall sick though. I should pray more these days.
Will George not ask me to marry him? Just thinking or writing aloud!
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 10
500 level! More work at this level, I tell you ,Darlyn. I have to brace up for the challenge I guess.
George went home briefly today. I miss him like so much! Isn't it crazy the way our minds work as ladies? We say we never would love again and yet? Well, not sure about love though but I like him a lot.
Missing Teresa and Jessica. So much too.
Some serious tests, tutorials, study! Whew! A lot of serious stuff. George got back today.
More tests. More projects this time! No one told me being a lawyer would be this tasking.
Send off for us.
Exams!
I feel so horny today. I didn't pray, I simply masturbated. Oh! How I feel so bad now. Am so sorry, Lord. I really am.
The urge to masturbate is so here again! God! I need you now!
Visited a few friends . I wont be going home this break. Really no need for it. I miss David. He would have helped get some home cooking. How I miss that too.
George didn't go home either. We read and talk a lot these days. He is fun to be with,Darlyn. So much fun to be with. Hmmm.
Darlyn, George has taken your place. I hardly write in you as I used to. Not to worry, I will.
My birthday! 23 already?! Now I am grown all right! George got me a dress. How did he know my size? It really fitted so well. And a bible too. I am glad. 17/09/2003.
Wow!
Darlyn, do I tell George all that I have been through? No, I am not. He won't be my friend anymore I guess. Plus I am not ready for that level of vulnerability! Guys are the same. Secret, secret.
George told me a lot about himself today. I wont say any of mine. At least not now. We are preparing for our finals about now.
Read, read, study, cram ...hm-mm. tutorials, lectures, ....
Exams...
Today, I finished from ********** ! Wow! Five years ago, I walked into this school and now I aint leaving the same.
Waiting for results. I pray it comes out well. George and I have a prayer retreat later today. I need to get what our friendship is all about. I dont want any funny repeat.
Menstrual cramps. What a day! George knew it! He has five sisters! Nothing to be ashamed of then. One open secret, Darlyn, he seems to know when am due for the next one!
Few weeks to be done withe this side of my life. I have loads to pack and give out too.
David missed youth service. He aint happy about it. Me too, Darlyn. He will be here to help me with moving my things back to the house. I love my brother so much. He has always been there for me.
Law school in few months. I feel funny about it though. I dont know why. I pray I dont fall sick though. I should pray more these days.
Will George not ask me to marry him? Just thinking or writing aloud!
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 10
Friday, September 11, 2009
Anne Frank...(9)
Tired yet? Nah,please don't be. Anne Frank is getting to the end of her diaries...
She continues..
CD is still dead! Darlyn, will someone wake me up from the nightmare! School has been just there without her. They said she could have survived the accident is she hadn't jumped out of the moving bus! CD harbored that degree of fear?!
I became the acting choir director. I was assisting before though.
The girls are hotter now. I dont feel right ,each time we do it.
One of the girls confessed to our girlie escapades today at the fellowship! What? Thank God she didn't mention any names. But she advised all of us to stop it. What it sin? Didn't CD say it wasn't.
The impact of yesterday's meeting was still so strong to me. The confession part especially.
I need to get to meet Clara. There must be a reason why she did that.
Clara and I became close. I think there is something about what she said that sounds correct. Maybe I need the power to walk out of the girlie stuff. Darlyn? Even guys are no good either! She said God is not glad with us.
Today, Clara made me get rid of CD's gift. Hard thing to do. She said it was the beginning of the deliverance that I craved.
Clara and I are prayer partners. She said the power of prayer can help to stay strong.
I am so horny right now!
Still horny ...
Clara took me to see a pastor friend. She has been helpful too.
It's been two months now and I haven't even thought about doing any of those stuff. Lectures, books, Clara and GOD!
Hmmm. This new me is really hard, you know. I realize living for God takes a lot of commitment!
Exams, exams.
Been here a while...
George. Details later.
George and I are in the project group. Well, we have been classmates but we never used to talk much. I like his intelligence and approach to issues though but he is a guy like every other!
He attends another fellowship around mine and in the choir too! Well, I need to read and be good! I dont want to be entangled for now.
Darlyn, I just finished a 3 day fast! Wow! That wasn't some easy stuff,I tell you. Clara and I met to break the fast at her room. It was an instruction to allow for more cleansing!
I had told Clara a lot of things that I had done! Or that people had done to me and yeah, the ones I did to them too! She said Jesus can and has forgiven me!
I feel horny today but I simply prayed! It went down after a while. Lord, help me.
Help me ,Lord. I will be in 500 level in few months! Life on the bigger scale!
I resigned at the fellowship today. I all of a sudden feel wrong in the position. I had being with most of the girls in the choir and they wont even listen to me any more. Especially now that I began to tell them about my ''newer'' life.
The (new) fellowship coordinator could not understand why. I couldn't tell him. Even the sister's coordinator didn't get me.
The girls!
Oh, how can I right this wrong that CD and I had done in their lives! Just how? I can not return to this fellowship. I guess it is better to also leave. Leaving the position is not enough.
The fellowship excecutives are still on my case.
I joined a church in town. Nice ,warm people. I want to start from the beginning.
Teresa and Jessica are leaving school soon! Oh! Everyone seems to be leaving! I will be fine I guess. Hmmm. Been so used to them. They have helped and thought me a lot in this life! They helped me find God and though I failed in the walk with Him, I still am trying to get back!
George gave me a thank you card today. Our group got the highest recommendation on the project! I did the presentation on behalf of my group. Nice card though!
Reading for a test! I can do all things!
Crampssssssssssss.
I was stained today and George gave me his jacket to cover it! What a shame! I didn't know the pad had shifted!That singular act melted my heart towards him. That was so thoughtful of him. I got to know that he has 5 sisters!
Today, George and I read in class and prepared for tests and exams together too.
Send off ceremony for the set that should have been mine if I had studied a course that was 4 years! I will miss all these people. I really will.
Exams, and more exams.
Home.
Wondering what school will be next year without all the people I love. Jessica,Teresa! All the beautiful people .
George called me on dad's phone today. Dad informed me after three days!
Preparing to get back to school. David's friend asked me to date him. I told him NO! I knew he wanted something more!
School... My room is so empty!I intend to pay for the space of three. I want time to my self. Final year is here! What?! Am thrilled!
Today makes it almost 5 years that I nearly died in that mysterious illness! Thank you Lord for the gift of life and for forgiveness too. Hmmm. Am I really forgiven? If yes, then I must begin to forgive myself and others who have hurt me. What do you think, Darlyn?
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 9.
She continues..
CD is still dead! Darlyn, will someone wake me up from the nightmare! School has been just there without her. They said she could have survived the accident is she hadn't jumped out of the moving bus! CD harbored that degree of fear?!
I became the acting choir director. I was assisting before though.
The girls are hotter now. I dont feel right ,each time we do it.
One of the girls confessed to our girlie escapades today at the fellowship! What? Thank God she didn't mention any names. But she advised all of us to stop it. What it sin? Didn't CD say it wasn't.
The impact of yesterday's meeting was still so strong to me. The confession part especially.
I need to get to meet Clara. There must be a reason why she did that.
Clara and I became close. I think there is something about what she said that sounds correct. Maybe I need the power to walk out of the girlie stuff. Darlyn? Even guys are no good either! She said God is not glad with us.
Today, Clara made me get rid of CD's gift. Hard thing to do. She said it was the beginning of the deliverance that I craved.
Clara and I are prayer partners. She said the power of prayer can help to stay strong.
I am so horny right now!
Still horny ...
Clara took me to see a pastor friend. She has been helpful too.
It's been two months now and I haven't even thought about doing any of those stuff. Lectures, books, Clara and GOD!
Hmmm. This new me is really hard, you know. I realize living for God takes a lot of commitment!
Exams, exams.
Been here a while...
George. Details later.
George and I are in the project group. Well, we have been classmates but we never used to talk much. I like his intelligence and approach to issues though but he is a guy like every other!
He attends another fellowship around mine and in the choir too! Well, I need to read and be good! I dont want to be entangled for now.
Darlyn, I just finished a 3 day fast! Wow! That wasn't some easy stuff,I tell you. Clara and I met to break the fast at her room. It was an instruction to allow for more cleansing!
I had told Clara a lot of things that I had done! Or that people had done to me and yeah, the ones I did to them too! She said Jesus can and has forgiven me!
I feel horny today but I simply prayed! It went down after a while. Lord, help me.
Help me ,Lord. I will be in 500 level in few months! Life on the bigger scale!
I resigned at the fellowship today. I all of a sudden feel wrong in the position. I had being with most of the girls in the choir and they wont even listen to me any more. Especially now that I began to tell them about my ''newer'' life.
The (new) fellowship coordinator could not understand why. I couldn't tell him. Even the sister's coordinator didn't get me.
The girls!
Oh, how can I right this wrong that CD and I had done in their lives! Just how? I can not return to this fellowship. I guess it is better to also leave. Leaving the position is not enough.
The fellowship excecutives are still on my case.
I joined a church in town. Nice ,warm people. I want to start from the beginning.
Teresa and Jessica are leaving school soon! Oh! Everyone seems to be leaving! I will be fine I guess. Hmmm. Been so used to them. They have helped and thought me a lot in this life! They helped me find God and though I failed in the walk with Him, I still am trying to get back!
George gave me a thank you card today. Our group got the highest recommendation on the project! I did the presentation on behalf of my group. Nice card though!
Reading for a test! I can do all things!
Crampssssssssssss.
I was stained today and George gave me his jacket to cover it! What a shame! I didn't know the pad had shifted!That singular act melted my heart towards him. That was so thoughtful of him. I got to know that he has 5 sisters!
Today, George and I read in class and prepared for tests and exams together too.
Send off ceremony for the set that should have been mine if I had studied a course that was 4 years! I will miss all these people. I really will.
Exams, and more exams.
Home.
Wondering what school will be next year without all the people I love. Jessica,Teresa! All the beautiful people .
George called me on dad's phone today. Dad informed me after three days!
Preparing to get back to school. David's friend asked me to date him. I told him NO! I knew he wanted something more!
School... My room is so empty!I intend to pay for the space of three. I want time to my self. Final year is here! What?! Am thrilled!
Today makes it almost 5 years that I nearly died in that mysterious illness! Thank you Lord for the gift of life and for forgiveness too. Hmmm. Am I really forgiven? If yes, then I must begin to forgive myself and others who have hurt me. What do you think, Darlyn?
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 9.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Anne Frank ...(8)
*Those 'nights of indulgence' with aunt Jane 'sank' Anne Frank more!
She continues...
When aunt Jane left that holiday period,I kept craving for more of her and how she does it! I think she is damn right again... Guys are just bunch of rubbish and doing stuff and hanging out with the girls is just cool. Steve! How that I hate him for what he did.
I returned to school today. David too
Darlyn, this will shock you! Do you know that the choir director is in with this?! I was at her room today and met the door open and lo and behold, she had two choir members with her and they were doing our stuff! Now this gets easier. I went away though and made sure she saw me go! Now this will be so cool!
Methinks this semester will rock than any other since I got here!!!
Fellowship , rehearsals and fun! I now visit the choir director's room more frequently... U know what I mean ,Darlyn!
Lectures! What a day!
More lectures...
Cordelia- the choir director's name. She prefers that name to the CD that most of us called her. I told her it kinda rhymes too. CD is the same cool stuff!
My roommates are so happy for me that I found a friend in CD- they respect her alot and think she would help me grow! Yeah, she is actually. She told me loads about men and what they had done to her in the past. She said they never really change as church folks and that they in fact got worse when they are in church! CD has had five heartbreaks in her 26 years! What? How did she handle all that. CD is so down with the girls!
CD's folks are pastors. Yet church folks have treated her so badly. Ironic ,right? It was her dad's PA that got her into the girlie club when she had her 5th heartbreak!
The girls have grown to about 50! Loads of other ladies mostly heart broken ones , have found a friend in the other girls. We are just happy! Darlyn, I am happy!
Exams are here . I moved to CD's room! She shares with no one after all. She made me the second in command kinda.
Exams...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The fellowship coordinator asked to see me today. And to my surprise, the guy was asking me out. What is he thinking? I don't want anything to do with any guy and I told him so. He asked me to go and pray about it. Hmmm. Pray? Yeah right.
It's been a while that I prayed though. I have not been reading my bible either. Fellowship is all that ensures that I do that. I hardly even listen when am there.
Darlyn, I had a fearful dream today! I think I am not on the right track! I need help but I cant seem to get it. The dream was about heaven. I didn't see myself there , I was in between and had the chance to go there but didn't till I woke up!
Told CD about it and she told me that there wasn't anything to fear. She said I wasn't committing adultery or fornication. It can only be that if it is with a man! Yeah! How so right.
I didn't travel for the break this time. I still had some money with me and since we just had two weeks break , I thought it wise to stay back. David went home though and promised to bring some more money for me. I like David's girlfriend- Gina. She is so beautiful especially her back side! Hmmm.
David seems to be happy without any church gist or life! He simply believes in being good to everyone.
CD didn't go home too and we had so much fun!
I told CD about Nicholas- the fellowship coordinator that asked to date me. She laughed for so long and told me how that Nicky is the greatest womanizer she had ever met. He had asked her out before when they were in 100 level and he was the 4th guy that dumped her. He got another pregnant some few years before and the whole thing had died down such that no one knew in the fellowship except some very few (but not the ones that appointed him coordinator). He told me that since he was graduating this session, he probably is looking for someone to deceive!
Darlyn, I think church is full of sicker people than I thought existed in the world! To think one may find it so difficult to believe at times. I guess am not doing badly then!
Handing over ceremony! Jessica and Teresa were made executives. They made me CD's assistance. CD was so glad. She would be handing over finally next year when she would be done with school. I would miss her a lot then!
That night we had so much fun till so late in the night.
My room mates have been wondering why I hardly stay in the room these days and I told them I had to be with CD to learn music. Good excuse I guess.
Jessica thinks there is something I ain't telling but she can not place it yet. Hmmm. Who is telling anything?!
My 21st birthday, Daryln! I got a gift from CD. Guess?!!!!!!!! A dildo! Yet again , I hear you say! She also gave me a book written by a lesbian minister in the UK. Wow! It is not wrong to be who or what one wanna! That night, CD and I used the dildo till the point we both knew that we were very tired. This same dildo put me in so much trouble years back. This one is purple! That one was red!
Mum came visiting today and Teresa brought her to CD's room. She left the next day. I miss CD so much that night. CD is just wow! She does it so well. Mum gave me a bible today! She said it was my birthday gift from her. A bible from mum? UNBELIEVABLE! Why didn't she bring it all these while? You know I feel sorry for her and dad though because their little daughter isn't all that they want or expect. Mum said she now wants me to love the Lord and I told her I already did since I got here. She was glad! She asked if I was seeing anyone yet and I told her none at the moment.
Menstrual cramps! Arrgh!
CD's birthday is two weeks. I ain't got any money to buy her gifts. I had to buy alot of books this time. My lectures said that is just the tip! Who asked me to study law? Just who?
Exams....
400 level in few weeks! Now, I guess I am almost done? Right. Darlyn!
I am so devastated right now! News has it that CD died on the way to her folks' house today! What? Noooooooooooooooo . The driver was under t he influence of alcohol.
Still mourning her. I want to wake up from this dream now! I cant even think well.. It was just ok this happened after exams . How am I to survive this?
Darlyn, why do all the people who wants to help me or are nice to me have to be unfortunate? Life sucks!
At home. I am still so sad. How will school be next session. CD was to graduate!!!!!
Oh ,I need to be consoled! The tears keep coming. Of what use is this dildo now? No one does it like CD would + I haven't even used this on any of the other girls.
* Now this dealt her a big blow. She never really came out of this one. Do you know depression?*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 8.
She continues...
When aunt Jane left that holiday period,I kept craving for more of her and how she does it! I think she is damn right again... Guys are just bunch of rubbish and doing stuff and hanging out with the girls is just cool. Steve! How that I hate him for what he did.
I returned to school today. David too
Darlyn, this will shock you! Do you know that the choir director is in with this?! I was at her room today and met the door open and lo and behold, she had two choir members with her and they were doing our stuff! Now this gets easier. I went away though and made sure she saw me go! Now this will be so cool!
Methinks this semester will rock than any other since I got here!!!
Fellowship , rehearsals and fun! I now visit the choir director's room more frequently... U know what I mean ,Darlyn!
Lectures! What a day!
More lectures...
Cordelia- the choir director's name. She prefers that name to the CD that most of us called her. I told her it kinda rhymes too. CD is the same cool stuff!
My roommates are so happy for me that I found a friend in CD- they respect her alot and think she would help me grow! Yeah, she is actually. She told me loads about men and what they had done to her in the past. She said they never really change as church folks and that they in fact got worse when they are in church! CD has had five heartbreaks in her 26 years! What? How did she handle all that. CD is so down with the girls!
CD's folks are pastors. Yet church folks have treated her so badly. Ironic ,right? It was her dad's PA that got her into the girlie club when she had her 5th heartbreak!
The girls have grown to about 50! Loads of other ladies mostly heart broken ones , have found a friend in the other girls. We are just happy! Darlyn, I am happy!
Exams are here . I moved to CD's room! She shares with no one after all. She made me the second in command kinda.
Exams...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The fellowship coordinator asked to see me today. And to my surprise, the guy was asking me out. What is he thinking? I don't want anything to do with any guy and I told him so. He asked me to go and pray about it. Hmmm. Pray? Yeah right.
It's been a while that I prayed though. I have not been reading my bible either. Fellowship is all that ensures that I do that. I hardly even listen when am there.
Darlyn, I had a fearful dream today! I think I am not on the right track! I need help but I cant seem to get it. The dream was about heaven. I didn't see myself there , I was in between and had the chance to go there but didn't till I woke up!
Told CD about it and she told me that there wasn't anything to fear. She said I wasn't committing adultery or fornication. It can only be that if it is with a man! Yeah! How so right.
I didn't travel for the break this time. I still had some money with me and since we just had two weeks break , I thought it wise to stay back. David went home though and promised to bring some more money for me. I like David's girlfriend- Gina. She is so beautiful especially her back side! Hmmm.
David seems to be happy without any church gist or life! He simply believes in being good to everyone.
CD didn't go home too and we had so much fun!
I told CD about Nicholas- the fellowship coordinator that asked to date me. She laughed for so long and told me how that Nicky is the greatest womanizer she had ever met. He had asked her out before when they were in 100 level and he was the 4th guy that dumped her. He got another pregnant some few years before and the whole thing had died down such that no one knew in the fellowship except some very few (but not the ones that appointed him coordinator). He told me that since he was graduating this session, he probably is looking for someone to deceive!
Darlyn, I think church is full of sicker people than I thought existed in the world! To think one may find it so difficult to believe at times. I guess am not doing badly then!
Handing over ceremony! Jessica and Teresa were made executives. They made me CD's assistance. CD was so glad. She would be handing over finally next year when she would be done with school. I would miss her a lot then!
That night we had so much fun till so late in the night.
My room mates have been wondering why I hardly stay in the room these days and I told them I had to be with CD to learn music. Good excuse I guess.
Jessica thinks there is something I ain't telling but she can not place it yet. Hmmm. Who is telling anything?!
My 21st birthday, Daryln! I got a gift from CD. Guess?!!!!!!!! A dildo! Yet again , I hear you say! She also gave me a book written by a lesbian minister in the UK. Wow! It is not wrong to be who or what one wanna! That night, CD and I used the dildo till the point we both knew that we were very tired. This same dildo put me in so much trouble years back. This one is purple! That one was red!
Mum came visiting today and Teresa brought her to CD's room. She left the next day. I miss CD so much that night. CD is just wow! She does it so well. Mum gave me a bible today! She said it was my birthday gift from her. A bible from mum? UNBELIEVABLE! Why didn't she bring it all these while? You know I feel sorry for her and dad though because their little daughter isn't all that they want or expect. Mum said she now wants me to love the Lord and I told her I already did since I got here. She was glad! She asked if I was seeing anyone yet and I told her none at the moment.
Menstrual cramps! Arrgh!
CD's birthday is two weeks. I ain't got any money to buy her gifts. I had to buy alot of books this time. My lectures said that is just the tip! Who asked me to study law? Just who?
Exams....
400 level in few weeks! Now, I guess I am almost done? Right. Darlyn!
I am so devastated right now! News has it that CD died on the way to her folks' house today! What? Noooooooooooooooo . The driver was under t he influence of alcohol.
Still mourning her. I want to wake up from this dream now! I cant even think well.. It was just ok this happened after exams . How am I to survive this?
Darlyn, why do all the people who wants to help me or are nice to me have to be unfortunate? Life sucks!
At home. I am still so sad. How will school be next session. CD was to graduate!!!!!
Oh ,I need to be consoled! The tears keep coming. Of what use is this dildo now? No one does it like CD would + I haven't even used this on any of the other girls.
* Now this dealt her a big blow. She never really came out of this one. Do you know depression?*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 8.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Anne Frank...(7)
Steven is a liar, Darlyn. A big one too! That lady that came last year is his fiancee! He was even crying as he told me. How that he loves me but have known her since high school days. I know he is just saying all these things because he will be leaving school soon. Why didn't he tell me all that all this time that I had been cooking for him and all that? We even kissed a few times and asked for forgiveness! Men are just wicked ,people. My room mates warned me.
I am so sad. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him after my law school. It is just about 4 years from now minus any ASUU strike! Guess I have too be strong then. Strong for me. After all, he didn't ask me out officially. I was the fool here!
Lectures ... I have loads to read and catch up with too.
I still miss Steve. He would be done with Uni. soon.
Fellowship was cool today as usual.
I fasted for the very first time today! Was done at about 6pm though.
The choir director has asked me to learn the verse 2 of Now behold the Lamb. I hope I can go on such high pitch though. She thinks I can.
I am going to take the song in fellowship today. Plus we are preparing for a concert as well. In few weeks though.
More choir rehearsals... Helping me get busy and am trying to forget Steve.
Send off party for the outgoing people. Fun ,laughter ,tears etc.
I wont forgive Steve! Never will! That lady came too!
I think it is not right to hold stuff against people though. That message at fellowship today really helped but it is hard.
Exams are here,Darlyn. I have to be off here for a while. I have loads to catch up with.
I missed you, Darlyn! I have one last paper tomorrow. Nothing has been happening except exams and all. Fellowship has reduced their activities because of exams.
Jessica went home briefly today . She said she will be back in two days. Her next paper is then. Teresa and I miss her though.
David is done with his exams too! He wants us to go home as soon as I finish. I couldn't agree more . I miss home. Funny enough...
There is this guy down my street. We met today when I went out to buy stuff. His name? I didn't ask.
School resumes in three weeks. Looking forward to it. Hope to meet newer friends.
I found out his name today. Peter! He is David's friend from way back. David never told me though. I thought I knew all his friends. I don't like Peter. He seems to know everything about everything! Is he proud? Well, I don't care.
Back to school. Welcome here, Darlyn!
My birthday! Few friends came around. I asked someone to bake me a cake. It was cool though. I had fun.
-------------------------------------------
December 2000. Aunty Jane is here! She has changed and all. She know wears make up and even trousers! Wonders shall never cease indeed! She is staying with me. But trust me, I wont even have her come near me one inch this time!
Like I guessed. She came later in the night. I pushed her away. She threatened telling mum all that we have been up to before and I told her it wont work. Told her they all knew about ''her gift''! I am not that little girl anymore!
I slept in the sitting room the next night.
I will tell mum today if she disturbs me again!
I feel horny today you know... Maybe one night of indulgence wont be a bad idea.
I woke her up and we started on it .
Darlyn, I feel it is really wrong but I enjoy it! I feel the need for it .
We did it every other night till I returned to school...
Hmmmm.
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 7
I am so sad. I thought he was going to ask me to marry him after my law school. It is just about 4 years from now minus any ASUU strike! Guess I have too be strong then. Strong for me. After all, he didn't ask me out officially. I was the fool here!
Lectures ... I have loads to read and catch up with too.
I still miss Steve. He would be done with Uni. soon.
Fellowship was cool today as usual.
I fasted for the very first time today! Was done at about 6pm though.
The choir director has asked me to learn the verse 2 of Now behold the Lamb. I hope I can go on such high pitch though. She thinks I can.
I am going to take the song in fellowship today. Plus we are preparing for a concert as well. In few weeks though.
More choir rehearsals... Helping me get busy and am trying to forget Steve.
Send off party for the outgoing people. Fun ,laughter ,tears etc.
I wont forgive Steve! Never will! That lady came too!
I think it is not right to hold stuff against people though. That message at fellowship today really helped but it is hard.
Exams are here,Darlyn. I have to be off here for a while. I have loads to catch up with.
I missed you, Darlyn! I have one last paper tomorrow. Nothing has been happening except exams and all. Fellowship has reduced their activities because of exams.
Jessica went home briefly today . She said she will be back in two days. Her next paper is then. Teresa and I miss her though.
David is done with his exams too! He wants us to go home as soon as I finish. I couldn't agree more . I miss home. Funny enough...
There is this guy down my street. We met today when I went out to buy stuff. His name? I didn't ask.
School resumes in three weeks. Looking forward to it. Hope to meet newer friends.
I found out his name today. Peter! He is David's friend from way back. David never told me though. I thought I knew all his friends. I don't like Peter. He seems to know everything about everything! Is he proud? Well, I don't care.
Back to school. Welcome here, Darlyn!
My birthday! Few friends came around. I asked someone to bake me a cake. It was cool though. I had fun.
-------------------------------------------
December 2000. Aunty Jane is here! She has changed and all. She know wears make up and even trousers! Wonders shall never cease indeed! She is staying with me. But trust me, I wont even have her come near me one inch this time!
Like I guessed. She came later in the night. I pushed her away. She threatened telling mum all that we have been up to before and I told her it wont work. Told her they all knew about ''her gift''! I am not that little girl anymore!
I slept in the sitting room the next night.
I will tell mum today if she disturbs me again!
I feel horny today you know... Maybe one night of indulgence wont be a bad idea.
I woke her up and we started on it .
Darlyn, I feel it is really wrong but I enjoy it! I feel the need for it .
We did it every other night till I returned to school...
Hmmmm.
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 7
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Anne Frank... (6)
Year six of Anne Frank's diaries, :-) and yeah, you wont be too far from the truth.
She writes...
Today at the fellowship was simply awesome. Being a christian is not anywhere near boring as most people think .
Darlyn, guess what? I think I like that brother Steven ,you know. Hmmm. More gist later.
Today, I spoke in tongues! Besides ,I am almost a year at this christian thingy you know. Hmmm. I am loving it though I feel at times I should be attending some of those parties in town like the other girls. Jessica says it is not right to join them. Teresa thinks so too.
Jessica told me a lot of things about her and how she had been naughty in the past. Darlyn, everyone I know seem to have their past,you know? I aint telling her mine, or at least not yet.
I joined the choir today.
Sister Kate said I will have to attend the Sunday school classes and other worker's stuff to really be on. I am ready to do all that there is . I think singing is something cool to do. The pastor said we have to have a gift to be a blessing to the Lord and His people.
School work has not begun fully. 200level law. I have quite a lot to read . Or so the lecturers keeping saying. I just try my best. I have lost a lot in this life to waste any time!
Dad came to school today. Menstrual cramps. What a day!
Brother Steven visited us in our room today. Hmm. I couldn't talk much with him though cos the pains still lingers. He said he would check in again tomorrow. Looking forward to it!
After that visit the other day, Steven and I see each other every other day. Whether there was a need for it or not.
Darlyn, I think Steven will propose to me soon.
A lady came to visit him today. She isn't a student of our Univ. but Steven went away with her for so long. He will have to explain to me when he returns!
Steven wouldn't discuss the lady with me. I cook for him every other day or he comes over to eat at our room. Jessica and Teresa think it is a bad idea. I don't care what they think.
December already? Now those exam results had better come out better than last semester's...
Home! David and I got home by ourselves! Wow! I think I miss my room and yeah missing writing in you here too.
Steven? He just fills my mind. What a second? Am I falling in love with some man? After I swore I wont? Well, guess he is different from the other men.
I will be returning to school on the 3rd of January. I cant wait to see Steven again. He sent me a mail today. I didn't reply because he just sent a line to say hi! What was I to say to that ,Darlyn?
Mum wanted to know if I was seeing any guy. I told her no. She is now calmer these days and willing to believe what I tell her. I still aint free to share stuff with her though. She appears a stranger each passing year.
Where was she when that ugly looking doctor raped me the other day? I just hate her and dad for everything that has happened to me in this life!
* End of diary 6... I guess*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 6
She writes...
Today at the fellowship was simply awesome. Being a christian is not anywhere near boring as most people think .
Darlyn, guess what? I think I like that brother Steven ,you know. Hmmm. More gist later.
Today, I spoke in tongues! Besides ,I am almost a year at this christian thingy you know. Hmmm. I am loving it though I feel at times I should be attending some of those parties in town like the other girls. Jessica says it is not right to join them. Teresa thinks so too.
Jessica told me a lot of things about her and how she had been naughty in the past. Darlyn, everyone I know seem to have their past,you know? I aint telling her mine, or at least not yet.
I joined the choir today.
Sister Kate said I will have to attend the Sunday school classes and other worker's stuff to really be on. I am ready to do all that there is . I think singing is something cool to do. The pastor said we have to have a gift to be a blessing to the Lord and His people.
School work has not begun fully. 200level law. I have quite a lot to read . Or so the lecturers keeping saying. I just try my best. I have lost a lot in this life to waste any time!
Dad came to school today. Menstrual cramps. What a day!
Brother Steven visited us in our room today. Hmm. I couldn't talk much with him though cos the pains still lingers. He said he would check in again tomorrow. Looking forward to it!
After that visit the other day, Steven and I see each other every other day. Whether there was a need for it or not.
Darlyn, I think Steven will propose to me soon.
A lady came to visit him today. She isn't a student of our Univ. but Steven went away with her for so long. He will have to explain to me when he returns!
Steven wouldn't discuss the lady with me. I cook for him every other day or he comes over to eat at our room. Jessica and Teresa think it is a bad idea. I don't care what they think.
December already? Now those exam results had better come out better than last semester's...
Home! David and I got home by ourselves! Wow! I think I miss my room and yeah missing writing in you here too.
Steven? He just fills my mind. What a second? Am I falling in love with some man? After I swore I wont? Well, guess he is different from the other men.
I will be returning to school on the 3rd of January. I cant wait to see Steven again. He sent me a mail today. I didn't reply because he just sent a line to say hi! What was I to say to that ,Darlyn?
Mum wanted to know if I was seeing any guy. I told her no. She is now calmer these days and willing to believe what I tell her. I still aint free to share stuff with her though. She appears a stranger each passing year.
Where was she when that ugly looking doctor raped me the other day? I just hate her and dad for everything that has happened to me in this life!
* End of diary 6... I guess*
Awemoreborelanlay
Day 6
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