That powerful urge to make your man's life better

Glad to be back! Laughing out loud(before I begin to feel like one talk show guru) Well, I dey try,aint?(wink).I got this mail recently from a friend that I would like to call Bob and Mimi(not their real names) and u know ,(throat clearing) it kinda came in the nick of time bcos 'yours faithfully' is in a new season,if u know what I mean, so I really wanna share this with you and I am really ,seriously in dire need of your comments ,constructive criticisms and suggestions...Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Bolanle,Women have a powerful urge to make their man's life better! My friend, the author Bob Grant, has written about this. Bob writes: "When a woman feels bonded to a man, she has a natural desire to please him and make his life more wonderful. She may offer to help him dress better or perhaps clean up after him at his house. She is merely trying to add color, style, and more ambiance to his life. "If he is in pain or distress, it is just natural for her to want to ease his pain through whatever means she can. She delights in seeing him released from his pain. "All her intuition is focused on 'What can I do to be helpful to him?'"She is also more likely to become attuned to his wishes and his moods. She might anticipate what he wants. "This is an empathetic skill that few men master - or, to be honest, really even want to."It might seem that men would appreciate this characteristic and never want to leave [a woman like this]. After all, what could be better than having a woman in your life who is trying to please you? "For a man, the problem arises when a woman overuses this gift."Bob Grant says that women desire to do TWO things:1. We want to create beauty.2. We want to take pain away.The sheer power of our feelings can play a huge role in how we act with the man (even the NEW man) in our lives. For a woman, the feelings are so very strong, and it seems certain that their guy would respond lovingly and gratefully to so much love.But all too often, a woman has taken the relationship much farther in her mind than a man has - yet. This leads to being frustrated, hurt, and confused when a man does not respond.Things get even more upsetting when this same man may take up with a new girlfriend or wife who appears to not care one bit about his needs. So why is he madly in love with her, after all you did, and after how well you know him - and she doesn't? This may have happened to you - or to friends of yours. What's wrong with this picture? Should you deny those glorious feelings of wanting to show your love, of wanting to give? No - that would be denying yourself. The key is to know how soon and how much to give. You also need to know how to give so that men can receive your giving, instead of becoming distant when you give.An email from a reader said in part:"Dear Mimi,"I was that woman. I tried to please my guy too fast and too soon, and I did everything under the sun for him, even lent him money to pay for bills and help him..."
--"Lacey" (not her real name)Dear Lacey, Your giving nature can be an asset in the right situation and at the right time. But just as you already realize, trying to give so much in order to win his love just backfires. You don't want to cause a man to see you as desperate and willing to do anything just to keep him around. Hang in there and keep reading - in time and with lessons like the one you've experienced, you'll soon have instincts which will protect your heart (and your wallet).Men respect a woman who takes care of herself - in every way. Thanks for sharing this.
From another reader:Dear Mimi,"I am one of your new readers and I do like the way you put your words. This one is me: too much giving. It's not that I do it for him to love me more or to keep him; it's always been me since I was a little girl. I love to share and give to anyone for a reason and for no reason."--
"Darla"Dear Darla,Thanks for that email. Giving is important to me too. We women need to take time to examine how we give, when, and how things work out for us when we give. One of the most important ways to make giving work is to choose your recipient wisely, whether we're talking about men or any other situation.What do one do to play 'safe' whilst trying to 'save' a relationship?! Please tell me...
Cheers!
Bollarnle.