Monday, June 22, 2009

Of Chocolate and of Love!©

ˈtʃɒklət/ or /-ˈələt/)!
This thing called love ,NBST!
Xoxo of Star 101.5 FM had mentioned it that morning and I wanted to get to the root of it all. Majorly for one reason: yours truly is in love! And this love or loving I talk to you about has defied all logical reasoning +sentimental analysis! I am helplessly in it! *giggling*. I have however resolved to a higher authority and am just in that state of nothingness...not bad or good but simply at rest/peace but a resolve that has left me with this,'' He who began the good work in me is able to complete it.'' Selah.

Xoxo said something about chocolates and love having similarities and how that the chemicals and stuff in the former can also be found in the latter and that the ''fluid'' that the brain generates when one is in love can be found in chocolate!.''Love? ''Excuse me! Love?'', I asked no one particularly but in frustration.

Now it wasn't the real gist of the news that day ,she had just given it as an aside but it got my ears tingling because of my present situation. I decided to check out the whole gist on the internet. Ok,I confess again,it was in my bid to logically and or scientifically analyze what my issue is with this love thingy! I haven't eaten chocolates in months now and I definitely know that what I feel isn't chocolate induced! 'Now Google had berra explain that to me',I threatened emptily.

The excerpts:

1. Chocolate contains substances called Phenylethylamine and Seratonin, both of which (put simply), are mood lifting agents found naturally in the human brain. They are released into the nervous system by the brain when we are happy and when we are experiencing feelings of love, passion or lust. This causes rapid mood change, a rise in blood pressure and increasing heart rate, inducing those feelings of well being, bordering on euphoria usually associated with being in love.

2. Dark chocolate contains anti-oxidants to keep us healthy and chocolate also contains phenylethylamine, like the neurotransmitter that is stimulated in our human bodies when we fall in love. Chocolate may actually act as an anti-depressant. I’m sure any one who has been in love has received or has given a box of chocolates at some time in their lives. There is a lure of real power behind that dark, rich, candy of the gods. It is used to say, “I’m sorry!” It is used to say, “I love you!” It’s an aphrodisiac and a prelude to a kiss. And now it’s an antidepressant! ... although, it is not new news for some. It’s still a fun fact. See the chemical we are talking about is one naturally made in our bodies. It’s called Phenylethylamine (PEA). The chocolate helps by releasing dopamine in the brain’s pleasure zone… Your mood mellows and a feeling of calm comes over you .


This question jumped at me when I read the excerpts,"Who put phenylethylamine in chocs?''

So,love and chocolates have been said to have a connect! Scientists say that that feeling of ''tinrinrin'' or ''butterflies'' in my(our) tummy+ the spine- tingling is a chemical reaction and that same feeling resides in choc?!!! What manner of insult,in fact ''assault'' on the the phenomenon of love! A ''lousy'' piece of cocoa ,sugar, cocoa butter, lecithin, flavorings (like vanilla) , sometimes vegetable oil, and a few minor ingredients for texture etc has got the same stuff in it as what I feel at the moment?Absolutely preposterous!Arrant nonsense!

I have arrived at the following conclusions:

1.Which came first? chocolate or love? The whole idea of having you and I here in the 1st place was borne out the maker's love and not because He ate choc!! Enough said.

2.I think science plays God a bit here; they claim to have even found the chemical that makes people fall in love and it will just be a matter of time before some geeks come out to market the Love Bug; something that makes you take or do to yourself to make you fall in love with a particular person.

3.My point is this, where is the place of God in all this?I don't see love as a chemical reaction rather a heavenly connection! oops! am I guilty of ''pentecostal rhymes? but I not sorry for that.
Science can explain the processes but my point is this; what makes you fall in love in the most irrational way possible? Have you ever asked yourself why it is that person that you love that you love and not another and that ''helplessly'' too? *Please don't answer if you have not been in love before.*

4. Science may tell us how but never why!

5. It is not chocolate that makes people marry who they (love) marry.Chocolate or Science wasn't what made them do it. You have got to find out who will help you achieve the purpose that God has set before you and you can be sure that your life will be a model.

6. The West's pre-occupation with science and rationalism can be seen from their high divorce rates and their (continual alienation from destiny). Please ask White Star Line what happened to its unsinkable Titanic!

I admit the whole chocolatey gist at best describes the nature of my "illness" but it doesn't explain why it has to be that (anointed and appointed) dude that am loving. To get that explanation, I have and am still seeking God and asking Him why it has to be him and not another anointed and ''appointed'' dude! We have to ask why and how the relevance of the one we are loving has got to do with our commission from God and how that will make us achieve purpose. And should the person(s) not feel the same way about us,we simply ask God to give us another to love! Simple! God alone has the how and why!
Girlfriend,eat with caution!


Don't get it twisted,I admit that science has helped in doing this and that and yes made life better and easier but I hereby warn them not to tell me that chocs and I share something in common! Choc and love I mean...lol!

And er...just a suggestion, should you find it difficult to love, eat tons of chocs! *laughing out really loud!* Disclaimer notice: Don't quote me though.
Should you find it difficult to love, eat tons of chocs!
It's valentine's day today in Brazil and it is called,''Dia dos Namorados''. Help to inform them that it isn't about the choc!


Awemoreborelanlay©
12062009

Should I die today...

Should I die today,
I will be glad that today is!
Should I die today,
I will sing to meet my maker that we talked about those things that would have died with us.
Should I die today,
I will be glad that I shed the tears that I now do and didn't take it to the grave with me.
Should I die today,
I will rejoice that the pallbearers won't have to contend with ''extra'' as a result of the ''weight'' of that which I thought I had made light.
Should I die today,
I will always remember that one of the essence of this life is to make right all the wrongs .
Should I die today,
I will gladly tell God I settled with you.
Should I tell today,
I will be glad that the accuser found nothing in me!
Should I die today,I will be glad that I didn't take you for granted.
Should I die today,
I will be glad we resolved it!
Should I die today,
I will my tell my maker that I did His bidding.
Should I die today,
I will tell my maker that as much as it lieth within me ,I made peace...
Should I die today,
Memories of how that we laughed ,cried and played together will go with me.
Should I die today,
I will be glad that we WERE not friends but that we ARE friends!
Should I die today,
I want you to weep not for me but congratulate me on this victory!
Should I stay around till later,
I wont be sorry that I said this on roof tops!
Selah.

Awemoreborelanlay.
10062009.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

100 UN-TRUTHS ABOUT ME!

1. Last Drink---> Fanta
2. Last phone call→Adnai
3. Last text message→ Bennet. Wondering which one though. The fellow forgot to put his surname...
4. Last song you listened to→ El-Shaddai

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
5. Last time you cried→last week
6. Dated someone twice: no
7. Been cheated on?→ How would I know?
8. Kissed someone?→ no. someone kissed me instead.
9. Lost someone special?→ lose?
10. Been depressed?→ yeah
11. Been drunk and threw up? → been drunk b4 but didn’t throw up and it was 10 that got me doing that!
LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.Blue
13. Red
14. Green
15.pink

HAVE YOU:
16. Made new friends → Yes
17. Fallen out of love → Nah, in fact never been in love until recently and don’t wanna fall out of it o!.
18. Laughed until you cried → Sure, I laugh loads! and yeah, A hang out with Kvites two days ago made me laff till I cried!
19. Met someone who changed you → sure, for good though.
20. Found out who your true friends were → Yeah, all 600+ of them on face book
21. Found out someone was talking about you → They all do!! u know me now. *wink*
22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → Not telling.
23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → about 45%
25. Do you have any pets → Yeah, a ‘’dead’’ dog +a monkey!
26. Do you want to change your name→ No
27. What did you do for your last birthday →Nothing, oh yes! Something,I '' loved'' my friends!
28. What time did you wake up today → 5:00am but didn’t get off the bed till 6:20am! So, u take ur pick on when I actually woke up! Lol!

29. What were you doing at midnight last night → Sleeping
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → To be done with this
31. Last time you saw your father→ It depends on which one u are asking.
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Nothing! I have no regrets!
33. What are you listening to right now → I am (Cece Winans)
34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Tom Tom? yeah ,maybe! Oops! That na sweet na! lol
35. What's getting on your nerves right now? → this!
36. Most visited webpage → Google,face book? are they web pages?
37. What's your name→ Awemoreborelanlay.
38. Nicknames→ Bols, Bolingo, Laby B, it goes on.... I must remember to add that I dont like any of 'em!
39. Relationship Status → Single.
40. Zodiac Sign ---> wat?
41. Male or female or transgendered→ FEMALE!!!
42. Primary----- St.John's School,Lagos, St Leo’s School,Ikeja
43. Middle School → really? wats dat? Je ki ile simi?
44. High school → Loads – ready? Here goes: 1. Apata Memorial High School,International School,Lagos, Command Ikeja.
45. Hair color → Brown,white,black.
46. Long/medium/short → Confused!
47. Height →Excuse me?
48. Do you have a crush on someone? → No.
49: What do you like about yourself? → everything, from d looks to d mind.
50. Piercings → my ears!
51. Tattoos → yeah,the one given me by an accident on a bike few years back.
52. Righty or lefty → Ambidextrous, baby!

FIRSTS :
53. First surgery -- none.
54. First piercing → dunno when mum did it for me but it's on my ears!
55. First best friends –loads! But summary is: some peculiar set of people called KVITES!
56. First sport you joined → Excuse me? Come to think of it, I played football in high school once! Lol!
57. First pet → dog.
58. First vacation→ OAU staff quarters! Lol!
59. First concert → cant remember now.
60. First crush → lemme think…

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → no
62. Drinking → water.
63. Already missing→ Always missing HIM
64. I'm about to → nothing yet!
65. Listening to → My help (A live choir group)
66. Thinking about → HIM!
67. Waiting for → this thing to end!
YOUR FUTURE : hun?
68. Want kids? → sure!
69. Want to get married? → Sure sure!
70. Careers in mind → Careers ke? Just show me where the money @!

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
71. Lips or eyes → eyes.
72. Hugs or kisses → Lets go there!
73. Shorter or taller → well…
74. Older or Younger → make up your mind!
75. Romantic or spontaneous → Rock rock former!
76. Nice stomach or nice arms → for wetin na?
77. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive? yeah! Loud ,well yes, maybe for good reasons!
78. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
79. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble ke?

HAVE YOU EVER :
81. Drank hard liquor → no! not telling!
82. Lost glasses/contacts → Not yet
83. Had sex on 1st date – Excuse me?!!!
84. Broken someone's heart →I aint a heart breaker!
85. Had your own heart broken → IAAIIWB!
86. Been arrested → by love, yeah! U heard me!
87. Turned someone down → Everyday
88. Cried when someone died → Twice in my whole life!
89. Liked a friends' boy/girlfriend: Well, it was a crush and I told him so as to yank off the crush thingy!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself → Why not? Who will blow my trumpet? Fela? The guy is stone dead na!
91. Miracles → Sure! How did I get saved?
92. Love at first sight → U bet!It happened to me too. Now,I believe anything!
93. Heaven → YES! YES!! I no dey take this one play oh
94. Santa Claus → Santa Claus? I know no Santa,I only know Father Xmas! Lol!
95. Kiss on the first date? → NO!
96. Angels → Sure thang!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Him!
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Excuse me?
99. Wish you could change things in your past?→ Regrets? I don’t do regrets,baby!
100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → LOL...believe all these, u would believe anything!

DISCLAIMER: The above answers does not in any way reflect the true personality of the individual who posted this. ( they are un-truths!).+ I was made to answer this at gun point!lol!

Yesterday I was raped!

Yeah, you heard me! I was battered, assaulted, and yes RAPED!How else do you explain this?
It was around 8:49am and the day has just looked like one of those other days- I mean starting on such ''cool'' note.

I remember working on an Excel sheet! *How I hate to work on that package*Then they barged in! Almost so rudely and naturally I played calm ,was getting used to that! I just sat on my seat and lifted my eyes and pretended I had their attention.They wanted a particular document I had custody of but I had in my magnanimity and ''pro activity'' ,sent the soft copy to their email but someone wasn't obviously,checking their emails! Well, I suggested to copy it in a USB flash drive so that I go on with my job but alas I got a ruder shock when I heard one of them say to me,''no, give me your laptop''. Yours sincerely replied in shock and disbelief,''excuse me? my lap top?'',I asked and that was confirmed! It was like I was asked to take off my clothes by a gang of (statutory) rapists!I was in a complete state of shock ,believe me! My laptop? My PC? My ''machine'' ,my tool for office and yes, FB work?! What? Was I missing something around here?Was the ''questionnaire'' aware of what he asked? You know ,I guess the thought of being asked surprised me than the barging in of two of 'em at the same time! Then ,I replied,''but I am using it'' I mean ,I am working on it. Luckily,he could see for himself that I had tons of data to enter into the excel sheet! But this ''rapist'' would not bulge!
hen I asked almost helplessly,''how long are you going to have it?'' One hour'',he said. One whole hour of rape! Sorry,I mean of giving my lappy to a ''total stranger'' . Of having my clothes being taken off and having to walk around stark naked like that''uncared for'' mad man who has been walking round town for some days now! Gosh! What did I do to deserve being raped and left to walk around naked! I knew this has had to be a bad day or what was I to say and do to all these?Then they took it. I went to my other husband and told him of the rape case only for him to rape me again! Am I such a play thing? That one said to me ,'' you need wisdom to not annoy me and them ! Pray tell,people, how do you successfully marry two men and be faithful to both? Phew! Even the Holy book says you cant serve God and Mammon. Herculean task? You bet!So, I was raped there and then just when the semen of the former was still stuck somewhere between my thighs! He didn't care if the latter's liquid was been sighted, he just went on. What level of abuse? Meted out to one person in one day? Now in case I thought I was shocked of being raped twice in a row ,I got a ruder shock when I was raped again by the first as he held on to my lappy for not the one hour he said he would but for ...help me do this calculation, 8:49am - 3:49pm! I was being raped for that long?! Believe me, by now,I was bleeding profusely! The woman with the issue of blood in all her 12years of being bent over could not measure up to this one,I tell you. It was like my heart was being ripped!In fact,I think it stopped for those hours! I was in turmoil! I was so sad! For the records, that must have been of the saddest days of my life till date! And when my lappy was returned,it was in a bad condition .It had bread crumbs and oily stuff! Even my lap top wasn't ''spare raped!'' Argggh!

If in all that I said here doesn't shock you or you rather think am too ''serious'' to think depriving me of my lap top for those hours by an entirely different department from mine *at least now that there seems to be a level of organization in what each person does and functions in,then I am sure you need to have your head examined or maybe you have been so raped that your heart is not in the proper place! I mean, I told a friend about it yesterday and he RIGHTLY said he would have asked me if he were my boss to go sit in the reception and wait there till the lap top is returned! Since not having any ''tool' to work with suggest I should be a guest! How on point but believe me ,that truth hurt I mean ,if I could allow myself be raped, sorry I mean, allow myself be harassed into giving my PC- PERSONAL COMPUTER away to be used.These rapists have theirs! all they needed was for them to let me give them MY USB to copy the doc! Gosh! I was foolishly raped! I was!

Now for the 1st time in many months, I cried because the ''man'' in my ''WOman'' was abused ,so naturally I mourned that loss! I was so pained! You cant really blame me though, I combine two powerful personality traits of one that is creative,goal oriented,decisive and tends to deal with bouts of depression etc. U wanna know? Go figure! *wink* So, I guess that made the words my dear friend said ''beat'' me with in such magnitude. I like Iyalla Vanzant,cried with a meaning! I knew I wasn't going to let my self be that raped again! Never ever!
Come to think of it, what was I afraid of ? Losing the ''unholy matrimony''? No! I mean shouldn't my sense of dignity as a woman or even as a man beckon at me to allow myself and others treat me well? Who ever enjoyed being raped? Didn't I think it was far better to lose my job than my joy? Where was my thinking cap that I didn't remember that I owe my self some sense of worth and dignity. Pray tell, what if my Problem Solving coach at DLA gets a hold of this gist? How do I even justify attending that life changing course?The same one I attended out of the desperation of a change in thinking! The one my background, culture, race etc has altered and it was imperative that I ''run'' for help as destiny beckons for sure! Well, to be fair on cute me, I guess the realization that there is a problem with what has happened to me is a pointer to the truth that I passed through the Academy. Someone has said that regret is like a rocking chair ,it gives you what to do but it doesn't take you anywhere. So, in the ''spirit'' of that, I submit to moi: Awemoreborelanlay, you will not be raped again, This matrimony is an unholy one! And divorce is expedient! Enough said.

Key: DLA- Daystar Leadership Academy
*More more information,visit www.dlaonline.com

Punish the Deed not the Breed!

His ''They''
They blamed it on the circumstances.
His parents were not married.
They said his mum was a harlot.
And had lured his dad into this!
They said it was the child's fault that he was born.
He wasn't supposed to be born!
And to think he was born on Sunday?!
How could he have chosen such a day?
What a shame!

His Mum.
Why didn't Monica Peters ' flush' him away with her Jackie Chan moves, shoves and kicks?
Mum wondered why he didn't die at birth.
This child was going to let the whole wide world know of her escapades.
How that she had gone out of her race, specie, and yes, familiar terrain.
Besides, she wasn't ready for this!
This child had defiled all safety measures.
The doctor told her those contraceptives would do the magic.
But how tragic that didn't work!
He came, bearing the pills in his hands.
This child is sure evil and hell -bent on exposing her to the world!
Phew!
Mum whined.
The nurses fussed.
The doctors blamed.
The attendants hissed.
And the thought of all that got mum saying again,'''what an evil child!''.
I will kill him with my bare WORDS,she raged!


















His Dad
Dad agrees he is bad luck!
That he was born on Sunday doesn't change the fact that he was born on bad day!
What a child!
What a disappointment!
This child simply shouldn't have been!
He is neither one thing nor the other
This little rascal!
He submits,he is the product of the joke that ensued when I didn't keep my Jockey shorts up!
Dad scorned!
I won’t have anything to do with him.








































The Child.
What am I doing here?
I didn't ask to be born.
But how did I get here?
Why do I have to come now and in this manner?
What am I?
Who am I?
Maybe dad is right to say that am a confused breed.
Why am I so hated?
Pray tell, do I have anything to do with my being born?
I definitively would have loved to be born elsewhere.
I didn't beg to be here!
Why wont mum wait to bring me here when she was ready?
Didn’t she and dad realize that their mistakes are going to be what I will have to contend with the rest of my life?
What am I doing here?
My life is so complicated!









The Creator.
Before you were born, I knew you.
Before you were formed,I made you a priest to the nations.
You have the strength of more than one in you.
The strength of a dad and the beauty of a mum.
The tenacity of a man with a vision and the can -do spirit of a woman in the travails of bringing forth!
It was intentional,dear.
I didn't bring you here to leave you there.
Destiny beckoned, and hence you came.
It doesn't matter how you were born.
It doesn't matter when you were born.
It doesn't even matter who brought you forth.
It was planned.
Yes,before the foundations of the world.
It was planned that you would be here anyhow.
Before your daddy met your mum.
I mean before your grand dad ran into your grand ma!
It is about you being born!
The identity problem you suffer?
Come identify with me.
Because it's in me that you live,move and have your being!
I am your essence and it is the Me that you know that will guarantee your TRUE essence!
You are not a confused breed!
You are who I say that you are.
You are what I say you are.
And here is what and who you are...
A joy of many generations.
A Holy Nation.
A Royal Priesthood.
A Chosen People.
You have been bought with a price.
You have been brought out of darkness into My marvelous light.
Because you have been born of Me,
You are Spirit.
Because whatsoever is born of flesh is flesh and whatsoever is born of Spirit is Spirit.
You are engraved on the palms of my hands.
Your walls are always in my presence.
Only look inwards.
You have the answer within you.
It lies within.
There is more to you than meets the eye!
You are a treasure in an unlikely vessel.
Take my word for it!
Your life hinges on those revelations.


The Regenerated Child.

Yeah,I got it!
I am working in authority.
I am living without no apologies.
It's not wrong here.
I belong here.
So you might as well get used to me!
I belong to the ROYAL family!.
I am FAMILY.
I am not a product of a wrong but of a wrong made right forever!
It was a divine set- up!
And there is no better time to be alive than now.
In fact those circumstances got me seeking Him who has the answers !
These answers I require for each and every step of the way.
It was a plan!
It wasn't easy getting here though.
There were times I had to cry myself to sleep,but am still here!
There were times I thought I would have lost my mind,but am still here!
I went through hell,but am still here!
But I have this treasure in clay jars to show that its extraordinary power comes from God
and not from me.
Monica Peters and all the magic pills couldn't stop me!
I survived the fight of and for my life!
And watch it,I am not bitter or even.
I am only better!
Cos all that I went through wasn't about me!
All that I went through didn't and wouldn't define who or what I am!
And truth is,they made me stronger.
He called me His.
He called me His and my spirit is alive!
I respond to Him!
I got my essence back!
I would be foolish to stand in front of the closed door!
He has something better for me.
Pressed down and shaking together!
I shake off the dust from my feet.
And I make a turn and walk into liberty
It wasn't easy but I made it anyway.
There were times I had to cry myself to sleep,but I made it anyway!
He turned my life around!
My original DAD showed me the blueprint!
And in that truth,I choose to live.

*A special dedication to all orphans all over the world and to all those who have suffered identity problems and or a form of abuse or rejection in life!To you who made it here through thick and thin!Welcome here,because life offers you the best in God!
Happy Children's Day to all children out there and to you who the 'child' in you has not died! The child in you that can and still reaches out to God,the Father.


Awemoreborelanlay.