Wishing for a Slim Me©

I promised me
That I would start aerobics yesterday
But I had unbreakable engagements
So I left jogging for today
I woke up this morning feeling
Ready but I had to rush off early
To meet the morning bus.
“I’ll start tomorrow’, I told me (yet again)
I bought my trainers today.
Yes, I did.
I’ll be wearing the pink one or the track suit tomorrow.
No, maybe the pink one or the white set?
I settled for white,
Knowing in fleeting purity that I can still
Fit into my new Armani dress.
It is again another morning after anticipation,
I woke me up feeling like I have wasted 28 days
Just for my period to start jogging!
And as for a slim me?
Tomorrow never came.
Because the picture of a slim me
Remained what it was
A wish!

Bollarnle©

Attitudes of Change©

sometimes,
things happen.
sometimes,
people change.
sometimes,
things happen for people to change
sometimes,
people change for things to happen
for whatever reasons...
reasons?
things and people are similar to change and in change
sometimes...
sometimes...
change brings people and things together
and sometimes change keeps them far apart.

Bollarnle©

I Fear This Contemplation...©

When I think fear,
I fear...
b'cause the whole idea of fear in itself is fearful
see,there are so many things I want do to you
there are many tears I want to make you shed
I want to make you pay for all the tears I have shed
there are many games I want to shame you in
the very games you played to make me lame
there are many ways in which I want to sway you
I want to make you pay for all the lies you said to me
I want to make you pay for all the times I thought I was wrong
I want to make you feel what I felt
even harder than I felt.
I want to act out the same scripts you acted
I mean in the same manner,
wearing the same costumes and playing the very role you played.
afterall, it is all about drama!
you equally gave a very entertaining show
take a bow dear,
the curtain's finally closing
it's my show now,
the guests are seated
and I wanna give them value for their time!
This is what I really fear
...all that I am contemplating to do to you!
I fear the motivation that is brewing up to go ahead with this mission
am afraid ,baby,so afraid...

Bollarnle©

The Fear of the Bitter Woman...©

A woman who has given her best
A woman who has given her time
A woman who has given her youth
A woman who has given her price
A woman who has given her pride
A woman who has given her place
A woman who has given her seeds
A woman who has given her name
A woman who has given her love
A woman who has given her strength
A woman who has given her all
...only to realise that she was being fooled all along
...only to realise that it had only been a feature presentation that will no doubt be nominated for an Oscar!
A woman who is bitter and can not see how it can be better is to be feared!!!
She is to be feared because she is now a master at that game
She is to be feared because she is now the director of this new film
She is acquainted with the rerun and she is coming out with a big bang!
the unleashing of this tigress(dragon if u like),would be grave!
She would not spare any prey that comes her way
She will make sure there are no traces left!she would tear the carcass without mercy and this time,
She wont swallow the remains of her prey,
She will only tear it apart
She will leave it terribly scarred for life
She wants to show the world that she called the shots and still does...
I tell you what?
the fear of a bitter woman is the beginning of...

Bollarnle.©

the plight ('of'- 'your' troth)©

She comes in veiled
Dressed in pure white -depicting chastity in everyway
Her father walks her down the aisle and hands her over to the clergyman
The price of chastity has been paid,
The one borne out of a desire to attract the last man standing- the real man indeed!
There he is
...patiently waiting as she is handed over to the clergyman
The rites having been completed,
Her groom unveils her
The one who has stood the test of time
She who came in veiled is unveiled
...only the plight could do that.
She who came in veiled goes out unveiled
The plight of troth
... a noble and humbling course.
bollarnle©

I must kill this muse!©

I av to kill this emerging me!
I av to quell this violence!
I av to put out this fire!
I av to stop this raging war!
I av to stop this abortion!
I av to placate this opposition!
I av to appease this momentary anger!
I av to make peace!
I must kill the muse to( re-)write these lines!
I must die to this about to be resurrected me!
I must walk away from this role that promises me fame
I must walk away from what might become a show of shame
...only 'I' need to walk this walk!
...only 'I' need to talk this talk!
...only 'I' need to work this work !
...only 'I' need to fight this fight!

Bollarnle.©

this thing called love©

Love! This all too familiar, all important ,all encompasing phenomenon! Hmmm!No matter how u want to see it or what sides of it that u av experienced, it remains what holds this world together! It is absolutely what makes the world go round! Well growing up with this topic for me has many sides to it(and u bet telling u about it will amount to ''long tory''). So leme go straight to dat portion of it dat am willing to at this point in time to save ur time and mine.I will like to establish these facts(open to debates and comments)-
1.love is a most insane feeling&cant be played successfully by peeps who av their heads intact!-u cannot love ppl(though u may feel funny abt more than one person-now dont ask me what am thinking)(lol)-
2.there is a thing line btw love and hate-when u love someone, u cant fully explain dat feeling to a third party when asked-love is communicated,perceived &received differently by both sexes(male&female, that is)
3.Loving is a choice(I mean that u av the power to love who u want)-love can be unfair at times one who has d heart to love shld also be ready to bear its pains too!
4.Love isn't opened to time and chance
6. You can not 'unlove' someone that u love!
5.When and if it isnt there,then it isnt!(shikena)

Now folks, go ahead and talk back!

I want!©

I want my toys
I want my gowns
I want my trainers
I want my motor cycles
i want my trainers
I want my bicycles
I want mt tricycles
I want my candy-floss
I want my ice-creams
I want my bags
I want my shoes
I want my books
I want my ribbons
I want my story-books
I want my sweets
I want my biscuits
I want my hugs
I want my kisses
I want my my pats on the shoulder
I want my lullabies
I want my my wants...
But most of all,I need my mum show me my toys
I need my mum buy me my gowns
I need my dad buy me my trainers
I need my dad buy me my motorcycles
I need my dad buy me my bicycles
I need my dad buy me my tricycles
I need my dad buy me my candy floss
I need my dad/mum buy me my ice-creams
I need them buy me my shoes
I need them buy me my books
I need them read me my storybooks
I need them buy me my sweets
I need them buy me my biscuits
I need them give me my hugs
I need them give me my kisses
I need them give me my pats on the shoulder
I need them in our home!
I need them make a home out of our house!
I need them badly and God knows I need 'em...
**** THIS IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE WITH THEIR PARENTS.
Bollarnle©

Hope Foundation©

Zechariah 9:12.“Come to the place of safety, all you prisoners, there is yet hope! I promise right now, I will repay you two mercies for each of your woes!”
The story...
Looking around the society and the decadence we have as a result of what the common child has grown up with or has to contend with, then arose the need for more of such 'hope alive ventures' like Hope Foundation. My heart goes to hurting people all over the globe and the need to understand that if we have to deal with these problems, we have to deal with the root of the problem- neglect, hurt, pain, abandonment, strife, malice,hatred, bitterness, and all other vices. Somebody is hurting and dying hurt everyday. It doesn’t have to be. We have a stake in this, and God has positioned at this time, just like Hadassah (Esther) in the bible, to be instruments of peace.Hope Foundation is a calling from the Lord and has to be nurtured.

Date of Birth:25/01/2003

HOPE FOUNDATION= A commission to the needy, motherless, orphans, raped, oppressed, depressed and deprived in the society.
HOPE FOUNDATION= seminares, talkshows, bible conferences, mission outreaches,
What we believe in Hope Foundation:-That loving a child, training him in the fear of the Lord will automatically bring the best out of that child and ultimately, a change in the society.
-That a change is possible-
That every individual is a potential leader.
-That every individual is a change agent
-That every individual is an extension of God.
-That there is room for every individual to improve on every level every day.
-That we all are accoujtable to God who is judge of all.
And that every individual has a right to:
Happiness
Love
Joy
Peace
Education
Comfort
A listening ear
A home and not just a house
A healthy 'growing' environment.

Hope Foundation… a hope that lingers on©

3 hard to believe truths about men!

Babes,are there certain things you believeabout men and relationships that can actually be HURTING your chances at real and lasting love?
Tell me if you agree with any of thesestatements about men:-Men like a challenge. They like the chase. If you're too "easy" or approachable, they'll get bored or lose interest.
-Men are dominant in relationships and women therefore are unable to express themselves.
-Men cheat and are incapable of being monogamous.
-Men would secretly love to date and sleep with different women the rest of their life rather than just have to stay with one serious committed relationship.
-Men just want to have fun and "freedom" and no responsibility.
Did you find yourself nodding at any of these?Do you feel like having a fulfilling and connected relationship would be easy if it weren't for the "hang-ups" men have about commitment or talking about how they feel?
If so, then it's likely you're NOT experiencing the kind of easy, effortless love that you want and deserve with a man, simply because you don't UNDERSTAND what it takes for him to:
A) feel "in love" with you
B) want to make you happy
C) want to devote himself to you and only you

That's why I'm about to offer you a little bit of insight into the 3 TRUTHS about men and how they really think and feel inside of relationships.
Here we go.
TRUTH #1: Men Don't Need To Chase It's been said many times by many people that men need to be made to chase a woman in order to want her and commit wholeheartedly.Not true.In fact, this is plain wrong.Rather than wanting to "chase" a woman, men are humans first.Which means...They want and need to feel a deep, emotional level of attraction for a woman if they are going to be moved to want bigger and better things with you in their life.That everyday "Physical Attraction" a man can feel for any cute woman who walks by is not enough, and will never be enough to make him want something more than a casual fling.Long story short -Men can and will want to get close to you even if they just feel this Physical Attraction for you - and you'll likely have a hard time figuring out if they are or aren't feeling that deeper and more intense and lasting Emotional Attraction.Not to mention, a man will get easily "bored"with you and be lazy about a relationship or any kind of commitment if he's not feeling this Emotional Attraction for you.So what is Emotional Attraction?Emotional attraction goes way beyond what a woman looks like, what she says or how successful she is.If a man senses that a woman knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it, and that she has certain "standards" of what she will or won't put up with from a man, then he will feel incredibly drawn to her.It has nothing to do with playing GAMES or pretending to be "hard to get."If you think that men just want to "chase" a woman and that acting or being "unavailable" is a turn-on for him, then I have to tell you right now, you're not going to get far with a man.What works to keeping a man interested in you date after date, week after week, is something magical that can only happen if he's feeling emotional attraction for you.
TRUTH #2: Men Feel Emotions Just Like Women Believe it not, men are pretty sensitive.It's just how they handle what they feel thatmakes them hard to connect with about it, and hard to understand -Unless you know what's going on with how men handle these things in the first place.Men have a hard time dealing with strong emotions from women.So you know...in a recent ground breaking study of how couples interact when in conflict, it was discovered that men often LOOK detached or withdrawn because they feel intensely STRESSED by the argument.It's not that they're more "in control."On the contrary - they feel LESS in control.So they withdraw in order to try and cope.Fascinating.One of the things men often say to women when there's a conflict or tension in the relationship is, "why are you being so dramatic?"Annoying, right?That's his way of saying, "This is getting too intense and I don't know how to handle it."You have the power to bring him closer, even when you have something you need to express that isn't light or cheerful.There are certain ways to bring up difficult subjects to a man that ENGAGE him and make him want to do everything in his power to make you feel loved, safe and comfortable.Does it seem like an impossible feat?It's not.
TRUTH #3: Men Want Relationships Men want to be in a relationship, and they have a strong desire to feel recognized as a great partner by their women.Have you ever accused a man of being "not ready" for a relationship?Here's a mind-blowing statistic: WOMEN (not men) break off relationships or file for divorce 70% of the time.That means that women are the ones initiating the end of a relationship much more often than men.If that surprises you, you may also be surprised to know that a man enjoys being in committed, loving relationships as much as a woman does.AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T FEEL HARD TO HIM.If you give a man the impression that he can't please you no matter WHAT he does, or that everything he does is pointless because he can'tdo ANYTHING right, then guess what?He's going to wonder if he's the right partner for you, and he's going to begin to doubt whether or not he should even continue the relationship.Maybe you're saying, "but I don't do that!"It's true. You may not even be aware that you're doing this.But there are certain words and phrases that communicate this to a man whether you're aware of it or not.Instead, when you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you will actually inspire him and trigger his devotion and attraction for you.
What do u think? lemme know...

Make him addicted to you!

Friends,I've got a fascinating story for you.Tell me if it sounds familiar...You're hanging out talking with some friends,when all of a sudden the conversation turns to a common topic - love and relationships.And each woman at the table starts talking about the situation she's in and all the amazing things about it.At first you're enjoying the stories and you're happy for your friends.But then it hits you...You are the only person there who ISN'T in an ongoing positive relationship.Everyone else at the table has someone in their life who they're excited and optimistic about.Everyone else has something "real."Everyone except you.You're ALONE... and that guy who you "date",without the relationship going anywhere, well - he doesn't cut it.So you stop for a second and think,"Maybe it's me..." "Maybe it's not all because of the way men are,but how I am. That explains why I don't have reallove in my life."As you think about this for a second, you can't help but feel a little lonely all of a sudden, and a small twinge of sadness wells up inside.But as these feelings start to grow, you know inside that you deserve better, and you wish the feeling would just go away.But it doesn't... and the last thing you want to do is "go there" in front of your friends.Especially since they just got through telling all of their great stories.You don't want them to know how you really feel right now... and you wish this feeling and problem would just go away.You think to yourself:"Why does love and a relationship with a man have to be so difficult?" "If only men weren't so difficult to be with."But then your "protective" side kicks in, and you start fighting these feelings and tell yourself:"I don't need a man." "I'm happy with my life as it is." "I'm happy to be single and focus on myself right now, instead of wasting my time and energy in a dead-end situation with a man." "Men are all screwed up and trouble anyway, and I don't need that in my life right now."Ahhhh... it starts to work and you calm down and regain your "cool." But somewhere deep down inside, you know why you felt sad -Seeing all your friends happy in their love lives reminded you of something...For all the reasons you have to be happy, and all the ways you can convince other people (and yourself) that you're fulfilled, you REALLY DO want something much, much better.You want a REAL CONNECTION.You want to share REAL LOVE and BE LOVED.And you wonder how long you can avoid the reality that these things are MISSING from your life by staying busy and taking care of other areas of life.You know you can't go on this way forever.Something has to change.There HAS to be something better out there for you. Or else what's it all for?But then you remember...It's been months, maybe even years, since you've actually made the time and space in your life to meet and connect with the kind of man who could bring great things back into your love life.And in fact, the idea of "dating" sounds like a complete and utter NIGHTMARE.Sitting through a date listening to some bozo,who has no idea how to really connect with you,ramble on about himself, would just make you feel even more hopeless and alone.So you've basically shut out of your life the idea of dating and going out with men for more than friendship.But then how are you supposed to meet and connect with a great guy?And how did EVERYONE ELSE around you manage to become CLOSE and COMMITTED with a good guy, while you're having an impossible time finding a guy who isn't totally clueless?Do they know something you don't?Are you just UNLUCKY in love... and not meant to have a great relationship for yourself?Are they somehow more attractive than you are?Why does it have to be so difficult?And why does it have to be such a "game"?
***End of story*** Ok, I know I got a little "heavy" on you there, but it's for your own good.This story is basically a myth... a collectionof common situations, fears, beliefs, etc., that women experience.And in case you didn't notice, a lot of what was going on here in the story had to do with a woman's own limiting thoughts, frustrations and negative beliefs about men, dating and relationships.If you identified with a few of these thoughts,fears, etc., then I want you to recognize something...So we women have VERY FEW of these negative and limiting thoughts.While other women have TONS.I'm talking 10, 20, 30 and 50 times a day here.And what do you think that does for a woman?Or for you?Let's try something new today - an exercise.Take a second and imagine something for me...Picture in your mind a woman you know who's either single or in a "troubled" relationship.Make sure you have a clear picture of her in your mind.Now I want you to imagine her having negative thoughts and fears like the ones we've been talking about here.In fact, I also want you to give her some of the fears and negative thoughts that you have.And now... concentrate on how these thoughtsmake her FEEL and ACT.See how they affect her emotions, her attitude and even her body language.I'll give you a second to picture this clearly in your mind...Ok, now imagine a situation comes up for her uncertain situation with the man in her life.Picture her emotions, her thoughts and how she communicates to the man in her life in your head.I'll give you a second to think about this and imagine it happening in your mind.......I'll give you another minute.Ok, come on back.
Now, I want you answer a question for me -How did all of her negative thoughts affect how she interacted with her guy?Did they help guide her to positive and constructive communication that brought them CLOSER together?Or did it tend to make communication with him MORE DIFFICULT and create DISTANCE?I'm sure you came up with all kinds of fascinating insights and realizations, but here's what I want you to see here...Communicating from a place of fear and insecurity with a man will more often create DISTANCE than it will bring you and him together.Unless the guy you're with is ALREADY an expert at communicating and dealing with these things himself.If only men were experts when it came to having open, lasting relationships and communicating in ways that would bring you closer, right?Wouldn't that be nice.Well, the truth is men are RARELY experts in these areas.And sure... a man COULD come along and be such a wonderful and amazing guy that he would helpmake relationships and communicating easier.But if that doesn't happen, or the great guy you do find doesn't happen to have these natural skills and abilities (and by the way, most mendon't)...Then guess what?It's up to YOU.He's not going to make it work FOR YOU.In fact, the reality is that as you are first becoming close with a man, he's more likely to trigger your own fears than to help resolve them.I'm not telling you about this right now just because I'm trying to teach you some "mumbo jumbo"about how thoughts, energy and intention work together...(Which they do.)But for another simple reason -There's something you can do right now toDRAMATICALLY improve the level of connection andintimacy you have in your love life.It all starts in one place.Paying attention to HOW YOU THINK.On a basic level, your own patterns of THINKINGand FEELING lead to the ACTIONS you take and the BEHAVIOR you display.And guess what can create a "negative filter"on your THINKING and FEELINGS?FEAR.And if you're finding that your actions andbehaviors aren't "naturally" attracting good men and creating healthy long-term relationships...then you've got something to look at right now -Your own thoughts and emotions, and your own fears.And, of course, you could worry about HIS ISSUES too, but let's save working on him for later when you're up to speed on all this for yourself.GETTING PAST FEAR, "CONNECTING" ON A DEEP LEVEL,AND MAKING MEN ADDICTED TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP...Ok, let's get to some real ANSWERS here.What do you DO when you have negative, fearful,limiting thoughts and situations going on in yourmind that are affecting your love life?Well, I'm not going to tell you that all women who are single or in "dead-end" relationships are in that place in their life JUST BECAUSE they think and feel in "fear-based" and "self-limiting"ways.But do the math.What kind of women do you think men "naturally"gravitate towards?What kind of women do you think men"instinctively" feel good when they're around,even if they don't know why?What kind of women do you think men understand,on a subconscious level and make great long-term partners?Right again.Women who are in CONTROL of their own fears andemotions when it comes to men, dating and relationships.Why?It's NOT because feelings and emotions are themselves bad...Feelings and emotions are probably the most beautiful part of what makes us human and allows us to experience the world in a deep andmeaningful way.But, what I'm talking about here is NEGATIVEfeelings.Because negative feelings, more often than not,lead to NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES.And women who are in CONTROL of their EMOTIONALEXPERIENCES and who have a handle on their ownemotional state, know how to do something thatother women can't and will never be able tofake...They know how to consistently create morePOSITIVE EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES with men.On one level, it really is that simple.In practice, it's much harder.So let's get on now to ATTRACTION.The truth is that men are attracted to one woman and not another largely because of the way that one woman makes them FEEL.And NOT because of what logically sound qualities each person and the relationship has.ATTRACTION and CONNECTION have their own"logic."I'll say it again so you can really hear it this time -A man is attracted to a woman and wants to be with her, and only her, because of the way heFEELS when he's around her.And not for any other reason.Not even if the women is the most loving,caring, sweet, generous, and intelligent woman inthe world.I'm even going to "translate" this for you so you're sure to start seeing it more clearly -Translation: The emotional experiences that aman has when he's around a woman are the single most powerful reasons why he either wants a long-term relationship, or doesn't.And to make this even more clear, let me tell you what this DOESN'T mean...It DOESN'T mean that a man wants to be with awoman because he VALUES a relationship and havingtrue love in his life.Or that a woman can be so good to a man and doso many loving and generous things for him that herecognizes the LOGICAL value of staying with her and makes the "right" decision.Feelings and emotions have their own logic,which has NOTHING to do with what makes "sense" orwhat is "fair."And the sooner you accept this as true aboutmen, the easier EVERYTHING in your love life andrelationship will become.CREATING A DEEP LEVEL OF "EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION"THAT WILL LEAD TO A LASTING RELATIONSHIPSo how do you make a man FEEL when he's aroundyou?What are the conscious and subconsciousemotional reactions and responses he's likely tobe having with you, based on your emotions andyour behavior?Take a minute and think about it.......Here's the bottom line:A woman who can communicate to a man on adeeper level that she's AWARE and IN CONTROL of her own experience and "emotional" state will make a man feel INTENSE ATTRACTION for her on that sameemotional level.She's an "emotionally attractive" woman, which can tell a man all kinds of things about herBEYOND the PHYSICAL ATTRACTION and interest he might have.On the other hand...Women who DON'T have a handle on these thingshave quite a different effect on men -These women can still usually make men feelPHYSICAL ATTRACTION... but they often set off all kinds of conscious and subconscious "warningsigns" in a man's mind.Signals that then become FEELINGS and EMOTIONS inside the man that tell him to RUN.And under no circumstance commit himself and attach his emotional experience to hers.Here's the strangest part about women who send off these "warning signals" to men...Most women do this largely BY ACCIDENT.That's right. Lots of women actually trigger negative responses inside a man's mind while doing things they think are FOR THE GOOD of the relationship.How's that for COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?And hey... I know it might bother you to hear some of what I'm saying. And that you probably have been more caring and generous with your thoughts and emotions in your past situations withmen than they were with you.I get that.But someone needs to tell you how men really and truly think when it comes to women and relationships.And of course men have their own specialized set of "baggage" and fears too.But let me ask you...What do you know, FROM EXPERIENCE, will happen if a man doesn't deal with his own fears about women and relationships?DISASTER.I'm talking withdrawal, break-ups, cheating,lying, etc.The list goes on.But if a guy takes the time and develops the"emotional maturity" to think about the negative and limiting fears HE HAS about women and relationships...And finds a healthy level of AWARENESS andCONTROL around these...Then this is the kind of guy that women will"naturally" be drawn to and enjoy being with.Your first step to creating a situation with aman where you BOTH feel the level of connectionthat will create and support a lasting relationship is to accept that MEN DON'T MAKESENSE.Why?Because remember, our EMOTIONS don't follow a logical or "rational" path.P.S. Getting a guy "addicted" to you doesn't happen because you're the most beautiful woman he knows, or the smartest, or the most "together"and successful.It happens because of the way he experiences you on an EMOTIONAL level, not necessarily JUST on a physical or intellectual level.A man's not going to think, "Oh my god, I have tohave this woman in my life!" because you've impressed him with your intellectual prowess or because you have great abs.Ok - maybe he'll want you "for now" because he'll be physically attracted to you, but he's not going to be thinking about a long-term "serious"relationship with you because of those reasons.There's only one reason a man will become literallyaddicted to you for life. And that's because he feels a strong EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION to you.

Again babes,let's hear ur views on this!

Too clingy? stop neediness now!

First of all, let me start out by encouraging you to believe that every day is another chance to start all over again. I understand how you may be feeling overwhelmed by the fact that you have behaved a certain way but if you're committed to look at the things you don't like in your life and work on them, you can absolutely start anew... RIGHT NOW.And remember, you are not changing for a man, you're improving FOR YOURSELF, so regardless of how you've acted toward him in the past, it's all about how you choose to conduct your life for yourself from this moment forward.You've got a clean slate... so let's jump in! FIRST, U AV GOT TO ACT RATIONAL&not emotional .Acting rationally means NOT picking up the phone when you want to check up on him and not blurting out 'where the hell WERE you?!?!' the instant he walks through the door. Rather than giving into destructive behavior, you focus your energy on constructive ways to build the relationship. By doing this you will spare yourself that awful feeling of being out of control.'The best relationships occur when two whole people come together out of a desire to share their full, happy lives with one another. They are people who feel good about themselves yet desire a partner to walk thorough this world with and experience life together. These are the relationships that succeed.You can have that kind of relationship if you're willing tofocus on yourself.To do this, you must make yourself a priority.Take care of your health by eating well and exercising. Findyour spiritual path. See a therapist to work through unresolved issues, if necessary. Do the things you love - reading, dancing, writing, watching movies, traveling around the world ...Connect with friends. Learn all you can. Always be open to growth, be it intellectual, spiritual or emotional. And listen to your heart's desire, your calling ... and honor it.Always make it a priority to DATE YOURSELF FIRST. Take yourself to museums, check out that hot new restaurant that just got written up in the Times, tackle that rock-climbing wall at the gym that you've been equally terrified and fascinated by. There's no room for desperation when you've got a perfectly good date for every occasion ...you.As you focus on your own happiness you will be amazed at the transformation that starts to occur within you. You will feel comfortable in your own skin, and [you won't approach your]relationship from a place of need, but rather one of strength.[Your boyfriend] will be drawn to your confidence and will do anything just to be able to spend time with you.And although you may start out with [the perfect relationship]as your ultimate goal, in the end that will be just a happy by-product of a healthier, more content you.'By focusing on your own well-being and self-improvement, you are bound to become healthier, happier and more confident.I'd be willing to bet that your boyfriend will really sit up and take notice of your new found independence and improved self-image. This could really help renew your relationship.But even in the worst-case scenario, if things don't ultimatelywork out for you and your man, you will be SO much better off.You will feel good about YOURSELF and will have all the toolsyou need to enjoy your own life with or without a man, andwhen the time is right, you will be ready for a healthy relationship to come into your life.