Anne Frank...(9)

Tired yet? Nah,please don't be. Anne Frank is getting to the end of her diaries...

She continues..

CD is still dead! Darlyn, will someone wake me up from the nightmare! School has been just there without her. They said she could have survived the accident is she hadn't jumped out of the moving bus! CD harbored that degree of fear?!

I became the acting choir director. I was assisting before though.

The girls are hotter now. I dont feel right ,each time we do it.

One of the girls confessed to our girlie escapades today at the fellowship! What? Thank God she didn't mention any names. But she advised all of us to stop it. What it sin? Didn't CD say it wasn't.

The impact of yesterday's meeting was still so strong to me. The confession part especially.
I need to get to meet Clara. There must be a reason why she did that.

Clara and I became close. I think there is something about what she said that sounds correct. Maybe I need the power to walk out of the girlie stuff. Darlyn? Even guys are no good either! She said God is not glad with us.


Today, Clara made me get rid of CD's gift. Hard thing to do. She said it was the beginning of the deliverance that I craved.

Clara and I are prayer partners. She said the power of prayer can help to stay strong.

I am so horny right now!

Still horny ...

Clara took me to see a pastor friend. She has been helpful too.

It's been two months now and I haven't even thought about doing any of those stuff. Lectures, books, Clara and GOD!

Hmmm. This new me is really hard, you know. I realize living for God takes a lot of commitment!

Exams, exams.

Been here a while...

George. Details later.

George and I are in the project group. Well, we have been classmates but we never used to talk much. I like his intelligence and approach to issues though but he is a guy like every other!
He attends another fellowship around mine and in the choir too! Well, I need to read and be good! I dont want to be entangled for now.

Darlyn, I just finished a 3 day fast! Wow! That wasn't some easy stuff,I tell you. Clara and I met to break the fast at her room. It was an instruction to allow for more cleansing!
I had told Clara a lot of things that I had done! Or that people had done to me and yeah, the ones I did to them too! She said Jesus can and has forgiven me!

I feel horny today but I simply prayed! It went down after a while. Lord, help me.

Help me ,Lord. I will be in 500 level in few months! Life on the bigger scale!

I resigned at the fellowship today. I all of a sudden feel wrong in the position. I had being with most of the girls in the choir and they wont even listen to me any more. Especially now that I began to tell them about my ''newer'' life.
The (new) fellowship coordinator could not understand why. I couldn't tell him. Even the sister's coordinator didn't get me.

The girls!

Oh, how can I right this wrong that CD and I had done in their lives! Just how? I can not return to this fellowship. I guess it is better to also leave. Leaving the position is not enough.

The fellowship excecutives are still on my case.

I joined a church in town. Nice ,warm people. I want to start from the beginning.

Teresa and Jessica are leaving school soon! Oh! Everyone seems to be leaving! I will be fine I guess. Hmmm. Been so used to them. They have helped and thought me a lot in this life! They helped me find God and though I failed in the walk with Him, I still am trying to get back!

George gave me a thank you card today. Our group got the highest recommendation on the project! I did the presentation on behalf of my group. Nice card though!

Reading for a test! I can do all things!

Crampssssssssssss.

I was stained today and George gave me his jacket to cover it! What a shame! I didn't know the pad had shifted!That singular act melted my heart towards him. That was so thoughtful of him. I got to know that he has 5 sisters!

Today, George and I read in class and prepared for tests and exams together too.

Send off ceremony for the set that should have been mine if I had studied a course that was 4 years! I will miss all these people. I really will.

Exams, and more exams.

Home.

Wondering what school will be next year without all the people I love. Jessica,Teresa! All the beautiful people .

George called me on dad's phone today. Dad informed me after three days!

Preparing to get back to school. David's friend asked me to date him. I told him NO! I knew he wanted something more!

School... My room is so empty!I intend to pay for the space of three. I want time to my self. Final year is here! What?! Am thrilled!

Today makes it almost 5 years that I nearly died in that mysterious illness! Thank you Lord for the gift of life and for forgiveness too. Hmmm. Am I really forgiven? If yes, then I must begin to forgive myself and others who have hurt me. What do you think, Darlyn?



Awemoreborelanlay
Day 9.