When you have what you want,will you(still)want what you have?

''...FOR I HAVE LEARNED HOW TO GET ALONG HAPPILY WHETHER I HAVE MUCH OR LITTLE .I KNOW HOW TO LIVE ON ALMOST NOTHING OR WITH EVERYTHING. I HAVE LEARNED THE SECRET OF CONTENTMENT IN EVERY SITUATION,WHETHER IT BE A FULL STOMACH OR HUNGER,PLENTY OR WANT..'' - Saint Paul.

Have I mentioned to you before about me hosting moi on talk shows? *giggling* I mean the ones I host with me in my room?! Now please find below excerpts of the talk shows I hosted ,this time with Kurt D.Burner.- Author of books like ,'' Your Heritage: How to be intentional about the Legacy you Leave ,The Family Compass,Finding God in the Lord of the Rings etc.

*Kurt is currently Pastor of Spiritual Formation at Lake Pointe Church in the Dallas area, and E-To you my friend today, even if you may go away tomorrow,I thank you for staying true.I do not know if you would still be here today, but I am grateful that you are here today and to you I celebrate even T.O.D.A.Y!xecutive Director of the StrongFamilies Innovation Alliance. He served as Group Vice President over Media for Focus on the Family where he led the teams creating films, magazines, books and radio drama such as Adventures in Odyssey and The Chronicles of Narnia. Kurt is a best-selling author of books with combined sales of over 700,000 copies including Your Heritage, Finding God in the Lord of the Rings and The Family Night Tool Chest series. Kurt and wife Olivia have been married since 1985 and have three(now four as at time of this post) children. Kurt is co-founder and executive editor of The Heritage Builders Association, a ministry that motivates and equips parents to become intentional about passing a strong heritage to the next generation. ( Thanks to The Center for Strong Families© for this additional information).

Though I have never seen him before, but read stuff(s)he wrote and in my reading from him, I kinda assumed that I have seen him before! I just seem to connect with writers in that manner. So if it is by my thoughts, then I have met him before! LOads have taken place in my mind,people! There aint no limitations here ! ANd what's more? It is absolutely F.R.E.E. to D.R.E.A.M.!

So, I had him on my show after reading a very profound note he wrote in the Parents Resource Bible. Now this is basically like this,: Imagine me having him come talk to 'us' on my show, about Learning to be Content and then my add with the topic,''when you have what you want, will you (still)want what you have?... still on the contentment thingy! I do hope this makes sense to you as it did me and it has not stopped to be blessing to me since then!

*This is one of my oldest talk shows since the gift of salvation* (wink)

''Nothing in this life can bring a greater sense of joy and fulfilment than your family.At the same time,however,family life can be filled with the disappointments of unmet expectations.When the flame of romance dies,marriage becomes less than exciting. When the kids rebel,parental pride sours into the pain of rejection. When Dad's office hours increase and Mom's pile of laundry grows ,the joys of companionship are overshadowed by the pressures of modern living. Disappointment can quickly replace the sense of satisfaction we desire.

How do we maintain our joy despite unmet expectations? How do we balance the hope of ideal family life with the reality of the daily grind? Is it possible to achieve contentment when our deepest longings are unfulfilled?

The apostle Paul shared some key insights about fulfilment in life regardless of our circumstances. Imprisoned in Rome for the crime of sharing his faith,Paul revealed the secret of contentment. He said that had learned to be content in every situation.He had experienced poverty and eating wealth,going hungry and eating well,the praise of people,and the stones of an angry mob. He had endured both good and bad ,maintaining a deep sense of satisfaction throughout . What was his secret?

First ,Paul did not depend upon other people or circumstances for his satisfaction. The word 'contentment' in this passage comes from a compound word that suggests self -sufficiency. In other words,we can find contentment apart from external factors- primarily due to the sense of purpose and identity we experience in our relationship with God. If we depend on a mate to meet our emotional needs,we will be disappointed no matter how hard he or she tries. If we tie our identity to well -behaved and loving children,we will face disillusionment when they rebel. If our standard of living must reach a certain level before we can be happy,we will never arrive. According to Paul,contentment does not come from such external factors.

Second, Paul said that he had learned to be content in every situation-NOT WITH every situation. There is a vast difference between being fulfilled in spite of circumstances and pretending that the bad things in our life are pleasant. If your marriage is falling apart,seek counselling to improve it.If your chidren misbehave,discipline them.If your job pays too little,seek a better one. Dont confuse contentment with either complacency or denial. Seek to improve your circumstances while not letting them undermine your sense of peace and contentment.

Finally, Paul had confidence that he could endure anything through his dependence on Christ. In this context,we can understand Paul's intended masage: We can cope with any circumstance that comes our way when we are self -sufficient in Christ's sufficiency. We are not able to endure anything,not in our own strength,but in the confidence of our relationship to the Lord. No matter who may hurt us, he will be there to comfort us. Regardless of what may go wrong,He will work good out of it. Despite the disappointment of unmet expectations,He offers us the ability to experience contentment in less than ideal circumstances . We can endure anything through his strength and overcome anything through His provision.

Learned contentment is fundamental to long -term family commitment and fulfilment. Once we find contentment apart from relationships ,our relationships improve. We no longer look to our mate or children to meet the needs but rather seek to meet the needs of others.When we are content regardless of circumstances,circumstances no longer dictate our level of joy. We can then work to improve the bad things without relying upon improvement for our hapiness. Contentment frees us to pursue the best in life with the right motivation and to endure the worst in life with the right attitude.Dont allow the mundane or the frantic to rob you of a joyful family life. Dont let the hope of 'SOMEDAY' distract you from the blessings of TODAY. Trust in the Lord when circumstances dont co-operate with your plans. Learned contentment is the key to satisfaction and success in (family) life'' - Kurt Bruner,M.A.

Meeting with God and learning from Him over the years has been highly phenomenal! He has had to take me through series ,I mean loads of 'trainings' with Him to daily become the me that He had designed from the foundations of the world .All I just needed to do was to co-operate with Him!

Now, people ,it was(and still is) the co- operation part that gets me really failing the tests He puts my way at times! I fail woefully at times and really wonder why He would make me go through that kinda experience when He knew I would fail big at it!

Phew! You can not go ahead to another phase expect you have passed the steps /stages as they come. Challenging or what? You bet! Very very!

I needed help(still do), and I would run to get as much of it that I could get! And thank God for putting Jesus where I can reach Him! I can only leave the frustration of what trying to do it by myself would have been to my imagination!

When you have what you want,will you (still) want what you have?

The day that question came to me some few years back,I knew it was Him asking me yet again! And He sure desired an answer!

I have of course like every child of God should,been asking Him to give me this and that... now here was He asking me what I am gonna do with want He will give me and infact the management of that which I sincerly ask Him for?

I ask for (more) friends, He is asking me this:, when you eventually have them,what are u going to do with them? How are u going to manage them,The ones that you have had before ,how have you been able to really be their friend?

I ask for a TDH- then he said to me, 50(fifty) years from now, is it still the TDH you are gonna still be seeing even after he is bent over and have lost the ''walking tall'' gait that swept you off your feet in the first place? Or the swagger that made you think it was really all about him being tall? When TDH loses his beauty to some accident and the' H' in his TDH becomes a hitch! What then would I do then? Would I still want TDH even then? I mean would I still find contentment in that even when you dont eventually get TDH? hmmm... tough one there! *giggling*

I ask for money? Then the question comes ,' will you be able to manage it when it comes? Will you be able to understand that it is just a means of exchange and that the life that you really live isnt based on the amount of things that you have? WHat if the currency that money is then ceases to flow in my direction for a while, would I still trust God? I mean, would Omobolanle understand that money is just a tool? *deep sigh*

Being content about the now is key! You cant get it or reach it now doesnt mean that you wont get it! The passing phase of this episode of life, is one that would pass! *Stating the obvious you would say*

Living one day at a time is sure an answer to being satisfied and finding fulfilment. Please dont get it twisted, I am not saying that we shoud not plan for tomorrow, I am only saying that living today like it is the last , and that will sure alleviate the challenge of brooding or being dissatisfied about this and that! Being anxious about this and that!

My submission as a ''matter of transparency'':

-To you my friend today, even if you may go away tomorrow,I thank you for staying true.I do not know if you would still be here today, but I am grateful that you are here today and to you I celebrate even T.O.D.A.Y!

-To you my TDH 'today', should you 'hunch' tomorrow or lose your gait, I mean your 'walk tall 'thingy that makes me like what I see, or your demeanour and all that makes you up, I celebrate you today!The you I can see today, reach today, touch today&learn from, I celebrate!

- To you my child(ren) of great destiny, yes,I celebrate the you that is delivered into my hands the day of your deliver(ies)...I celebrate the you today in your babyhood, yes to your teenage rebellion /adolescence to the you that you have been designed to be from the foundations of the world. My child(ren), I celebrate you!

-To the money I have today, I worship the Source for bringing you my way and er... thank myself for giving value in exchange for you. You are a tool, and yes, those crying children would make do with you! * How timely that text message was*...! hmmm... I thank you .. so that tomorrow, when you aint a source of exchange again or when you dont even come to me, or when I cant even use you again because life has gone out of me and I have gone to the realm where we wont be needing you, I would still rejoice in the lives I had used you to bless while this lasted.

Is this some lonely walk? or maybe it sounds like 'therapeutic' for me but this one thing I know,that someone is going to need this some time soon.

Think about the hustling and bustling of life (especially city life) ? It simply suggests to me that we are really trying to make tomorrow better... From the waking up at 4am to working till late in the night! phew! Weekends to public holidays and all! to endless dead(life) lines to target and bla bla! The whole mad rush to make ends meet! The parallel end! Hmmm.

Do you? or er... when you have what you want,will you (still) want what you have? Will contentmet find you per stage or phase in life? Think about it.

Kurt Bruner & Awemoreborelanlay©

March 2001